Friday, May 11, 2007

yesterday the nurse came up to me and asked:

'white african, you know in your Arabic religion, does it say anything about opposite genders not being allowed to touch?'

to which i asked her:

'what happened?'

to which she said:

'well this Arabic guy came in to see me for a blood test, and when he saw me he asked me to put gloves on, not the normal ones but the thick gloves because he didn't want me to touch him, is that true?'

now, we rarely get cases like this, but occasionally some one will come in and make peoples lives more difficult including there own life.

one time this guy came in and saw the nurse for a travel vaccination, it was a different nurse, and when she tried to inject him, he jumped back and said to her:

'could you please not touch me'

now how in the world was she going to inject him without touching him, i think he expected her to use some sort of sling back device or one of those tranquilizer guns.

she explained to him that it was extremely difficult to do this as she has to pinch the skin in order to inject him, but he refused but at the same time he said he has to have this injection, and obviously a fight erupted.

the nurse was extremely offended and she took it personally, and she refused to ever see him again, and she genuinely believed that he had an issue with woman and in her eyes she took it to mean that she was dirty or offensive to him and that was why he didn't want her to touch him.


well we sat her down and explained to her and the doctor even went as far as to say that the man didn't want her to touch him because he respects her greatly and only her husband has the right to touch her lol, she actually took it well and was even happy with this explanation loool.

this nurse was saying that she can understand the whole touchy touchy thing but in matters of medicine and when its necessary then why not? and she's right, its not even a hand shake or a pat on the head, or even a kiss on the cheek, its taking out blood, or injecting some sort of vaccination, and even then its a matter of seconds.

why is it when Islam gives us a rukhsa (licence) we still refuse it and make our lives more difficult when there is no need whatsoever.


The Godfather said...

These people are obviously members of the God Squad, or have 're-discovered Jesus' in their lives?!?!?!

I personally have no problems with touching members of the opposite sex if the situation warrants it or if it is a formality.

Anglo-Libyan said...

because these so called Musims have learnt it Belmagloub (upsidedown) !!

PH said...

Actually, in medicine the rules are different completely when it comes to the 3ora and touching (they are permitted).
I had a neighbor who was a doctor and he had a whole volume of books on the rules of engagement for a Muslim doctor and it was quite an old book like written centuries ago, so this understanding isn't new its just maybe some patients need to be taught it.

a_akak said...

I think this guy took it a bit to the extreme but i know that usually its the females who do this, as i have been put in bad situations because of this, but i will research this deeper as i dont think it has very strong bases but Allah a3lem (only god knows), I personally object to this extremist but if they have a foundation within islamic teaching then .................. allah a3lem (only god knows)

Fe Aman Allah

a_akak said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ibeebarbie said...

Salam White African,

Poor lady. Seems when one feels rejected, they automatically assume it's something within them that caused the reaction. When in reality it had something to do with the other person.

Who knows the man's motives--maybe he was embarrassed with his thoughts towards the woman so hide behind the door of religion. Rather than taking accountability for himself and assuring the woman that it had nothing to do with her, but rather with him, he decided to create discomfort. Probably would have saved time and grief, if honest accountability had been placed on the table.

Anglo-Libyan said...

I have checked with someone I know and it is absolutely allowed for medical reasons I was told, I dont think as human beings we need more brains to understand that it is allowed, Islam is common sense.
wa Allah a3lem

white african said...

lol godfather, you sure your not a amember your self :)

anglo it would be interesting to know there proof? where exactly they get there understanding from.

ph exactly, some people would rather die than have the opposite gender treating them, or they will delay being seen until things get really bad because they dont want to be seen by a male doctor.

if there is the same gender doctor available then brilliant but of there isint then fine, its not the end of the world.

akak your right it is usually the ladies who are uncomfortable being seen by a male and its understandable but to make it so that its haram or risk your life is taking it to the extreme and your right allah a3lem.

ibee i love your explanation on matters :) great.

that well could be the reason, (probably was lol)

white african said...

missed you there anglo, thank you.

one of the great things about islam is its common sense and simplicity, alhamdullilah 3ala kul 7al.

a_akak said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Godfather said...

LOL!!! Me?....a member!?!?!? That's absurd. Everyone knows I'm not a member.

ibeebarbie said...

Salam White African again,

I know this is becoming a silly subject as most here seem to agree Islam is simple, based on common sense, and not difficult to follow, alhamdullilah.

So with that being said, and along the same lines as extreme, I wonder what one's reaction would be if they were passed out, needed medical attention to bring them back to consciousness and discovered the one that achieved this task was the opposite gender? YIKES!

Anonymous said...

It is simple, freedom or personal choice and we should respect that as long as he respect the others. K

NM said...

okay i have to confess i laughed at his reacion :) sorry dude but come on

Ever The Idealist said...

I have had sooooo many occation when muslim male patients have said this to me and my normal reaction is to laugh. How stupid can you get. I will next time say something like "hold on there brother while you bleed to death i will just pu on my gloves" and when I get pulled up for murder I could always blame my religion as everyone seems to be doing now days...

Muslims man, they jsut dont know how to be...

Anonymous said...

If you like to ask Ghaddafi question on BBC:

white african said...

godfather lol, why so defensive bro?

ibee lol, i guess then the term 'over my dead body' would come in handy :0)

annon thank you, respct is vital from both sides of course.

nm it is funny but depressing to :(

ever you murdress lol

annon thank you sounds interesting will def check it out inshallah.

Lebeeya said...

I dont know if I should feel bad for the guy or for the nurse!

الدين يسرا وليس عسرا

Its interesting how some people over do and over react to certain things. The problem is that they take everything by word and dont realize that in certain situation things can be flexible.

I wonder what that guy would do to me if I accidently bumped into him while walking...... I wouldnt be surprised if he stabbed me! Ouch.

white african said...

leebeya stabbing you may mean having to touch you so he would opt for another method lol.

flexibility is the magic word :)

mani said...

"you know in your Arabic religion"


aaaah.. it makes me laugh so much..

Lee.. he prob would stab he need not touch u .. just the flint need touch you.. Libyans are amazing at nakhs like this.. people discover they have been stabbed sometimes only after their assailant has made off :)

well WA, as my British-Libyan lads found out.. the magic word in libya is 'Flexibility'.. no one seemed to have a clue.. everyone just waits for stuff to happen lol... so.. be flexible while you wait

Lady_WildKat said...

its so difficult for me not to touch a guy in my career....clean out ur mind girl! basically i end up shaking hands with guys all the time cos of meetings and stuff. and i know its business so not a problem, some of the guys i've worked with for years have often patted me on the shoulder, or the arm as a congratulation thing and altho i tend to shy away (i know me Shy, i hear u say)i dont want to cause a fuss cos they dont realise they are doing it. and i've even had a male collegue, who's also a really good friend give me a impromtu hug when he hadn't seen me in ages - i was kinda stunned, i disengaged myself and never said anything then. another time we were having a conversation and i brought it round to men and women and touching and what Islam says about it. i think he got the message cos he never did it again. but if i'd blasted him straight away for it, he would have been somewhat offended and upset i think.
as the only visible Muslim women on my site (i dont know ny otehr muslim women on site, or any that wear hijab, i dont think there are...i digress...anyways with approx 6500 ppl (less then 1% are female engineers)i end up being a islamic google for the random questions i get asked, the amount of times they have mixed up religions cos of what they have read in the papers.
In this country we are the minority even though some groups dont remember it, i think its important to be aware of our actions and explain them esp. if the 'western society' doesnt understand cos its not something they understand readily or are familliar with.

anyways thats my 2p worth
sorry for the long comment!

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