Tuesday, May 15, 2007

a great friend of mine sent this out to me by email and it cracked me up, so i wanted to share it with you all.

Dear Systems Analyst,

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.

In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and "Golf 5.3" no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected "Saturday Rugby 6.3" always fails and "Saturday Shopping 7.1" runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0", but uninstal doesn't work on this program. Can you please help?....

AND THIS IS WHAT OUR ANALYST SAID:

Dear Customer,This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.

Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your currentplatform. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 wasnot designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from theSystem once it is installed.Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the.........C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze theentire system.It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that theoperating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme, can be very rewarding.To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\ KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0" or even Eating out without the Kids 7.2.1" (ifChild processing has already started).

DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH and you will be the loser.BEST WISHES AND HAVE A PLEASANT WORKING DAY

13 comments:

Ever The Idealist said...

I saw this and thought huh???? It took about 2 readings for me to get it!!! I showed it to Maano who thought it hilarious.

I love this bit "Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your currentplatform"

a_akak said...

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak lol

Already distributed to all the guys in the office, anyway, WIFE 1.0 can also be such a great program that creates stability to the operating system as well as harmony (Propoganda for some :P)

Fe Aman Allah

weldemdina said...

looooool you really made my day ya WA with this post, when I made big smile on my face my workmate opposite to me looked at me as if I was gone crazy , nice one thanx for sharing, I think my advice here is to have second pc/laptop ;o).

mani said...

Im dumbfounded..

that was genuis....

hats off WA :)

Matrix said...

Thats really amazing .... I was laughing while i was reading...thank you for sharing it...i will emailed to my friends after of course your permission...

Thanks

Matrix

PH said...

That was really funny :D, thanks for sharing it :P.


salaam

white african said...

ever mano would find it funny bless him :)

akak nice entry there :)

weld lol @ second pc, i dont think that even occured to them lol.

why thank you mani :)

matrix course you can :) glad you liked it.

ph your welcome :0)

Trabilsia said...

Good post!
Very funny indeed lol
Thanks for sharing.

WA dear,
Would you email me please?

MaySoon said...

LOOOL that was so funny WA..lol thanks for sharing :oD

white african said...

trabilsia course i can, whats your email? or can i get it of your blog?

white african said...

ooops missed your comment there maysoon, your welcome hun :)

Brave Heart said...

hahaaha WA, I LOUGHED to much wallahi, it's prison prison prison not computre system

white african said...

brave people see it differently, computer system, prison, it depends on the person.

maybe you should make something similar to this but describing a prison lol