Friday, October 27, 2006

It's funny how you find yourself talking to random strangers who you have never seen before, or lets say its the other way round random strangers start conversations with you when you had no intention what so ever to say anything to them, it always seems to happen.

take Wednesday for instance, I was at the dressing clinic with my bro and mother, we where sat in the reception area waiting for our turn, I noticed that there was an Asian man sat opposite us staring at us, I turned around to my mum and whispered 'what's his problem, he keeps looking at us' my mum just told me to ignore him, but that's one thing I cant do, I cant stand people who stare it bugs the living day lights out of me and it will really annoy me until I either get up and leave or that person leaves or a fight starts, in this case I started a staring match with him.

whilst the staring match was happening he automatically takes out a can of lager out of a plastic bag and proceeds to drink as if trying to tell me 'this is easy for me, I do this all the time' (apparently its his second can, are you even allowed to drink in clinics?) my eyes began to water so I had to blink, my blinking was the opportunity for him to speak, I guess he thought I winked at him, sigh.... The dude had one hell of a voice on him, we where just a few centimeters away from him yet we could have been miles and would have heard him clearly.

the conversation went something like this:

man: when did you celebrate eid? Yesterday or the day before yesterday?

mum: Monday,we celebrated eid on Monday.

man: oh, you celebrated with Al-Jazeerah? (lol, oh yeh the news channel, course!!!!)

mum: sorry

me: mama just ignore him..

mama: no miskeen (poor thing), we followed Saudi

man: oh you from Saudi Arabia?

mama: no where not

man: where you from if you don't mind me asking

me: earth..

mama: Libya

man: oh wow, ana 3isht fee misrata 7 sineen (tanslation: oh wow I lived in misrata -a city around 2 hours away from Tripoli- for 7 years)

me: oh my god, the dude speaks Arabic

mama: mashallah, really, we are originally from misrata.

bro: laughing into his jacket

man: I am originally from Pakistan, but my baba and mama traveled every where for work, my baba he was a eye doctor, you know kind fahad from Saudi Arabia?

mama: yes yes

man: baba operated on him

mama: ok mashallah

man: ana kunt atakalim al 3arabi mithl al boulboul (translation- I used to be able to talk Arabic like a hoopoe bird)

mama: oh what happened?

man: I have no Arabs to talk to so I lost most of it

mama: that's a shame, but still mshallah your Arabic is good

man: not any more love (then with a horrified look on his face started to apologies) sorry, sorry not love I mean sister

me: lol

mama: its ok

man: ok back to my life story, I am originally from Pakistan but we lived on the outskirts of Afghanistan, and when the Russians where attacking Afghanistan I had to defend it because I love Afghanistan, it was terrible sister, baba mat, mama mat, zawjatee mat (translation- mum died, dad died, my wife died)

mama: ina lila wa ina ilayhee rajee300n (translation- to Allah we belong and to him is our return)

man: yes, I got chemical burnt on both my legs, and I salute this country (he then stands up and does a saluting sign with his hand and then sits down again)

man: the government of this country took me in (wow that would have been Thatcher, nice of her to take him in to 10 downing street), I salute them, they pay more than a grand a month for my health care, my country would have left me to die, probably would have killed me to get me out the way, so I salute this country.

then the national anthem went off and we all stood up and sang - actually that bit didn't happen.

instead the man got up walked towards us lifted his leg up and my mum bless her nearly fainted from the sight, all his bandages had fallen around his ankles and where his leg was supposed to be was gunk, half of the leg wasn't there, we could actually see the bone. My mum covered her mouth and was saying:

mama: nasul Allah al 3afwah wal 3afeeyah (translation - iask Allah for good health)

man: I wont show you my other leg, you will be sick for the next week if I do, I will save you from this.

mama: thank you, subhannallah how this happen?

man: war sister, this is a cause of war, I have to many problems in my life, I am Muslim and people always judge me and look down on me cause I drink alcohol, but alcohol is one thing and having faith in my heart is another thing, they are separate things, the alcohol makes me forget and nulls the pain of life for me.

mama: Allah yihdeek inshallah (translation - may Allah guide you)

man: yes sister. so what happened to your son?

mama: fireworks brother, some one threw on at him

man: oh, if I could I will take his pain, he is only young, I have to much pain,a little more pain wont harm me.

how sweet was that? Seriously when he said that it wasn't fake, it was genuine, subhanallah.

mama: oh thanks you brother you are kind

man: no no

he then points at me at me and says: is he your daughter

mam: yes, she's my eldest

man: is she married?

me: mumbling hello im here, stop talking like im invisable

mama: knudging me, no she is not

man: oh so when you going to send her off to get married?

bro: nearly falls off his chair laughing

me: is this man for real?

mama: sorry?

man: you do arranged marriage?

my mum at this point starts to explain to him the difference between arranged marriages and forced marriages, can I point out that we had an audience in the room, people where on the edge of there seats listening to us. After the mini lecture the man turns around and says:

man: is your son married?

now it was my turn to fall off the chair laughing, my brother shouts out of course not I'm only 17.

and before he could ask if my mum was married, lol, he got called in to the nurses room, leaving us behind waiting for our turn.

how weird is that? it truly is amazing the kind of people we meet in our lives, really does make it that much more interesting....

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

A big Eid Mubarak to every one

I pray from the bottom of my heart that you all enjoyed your eid and that Allah swt gives you the opportunity to witness many more wonderful Ramadans and Eids (Ameen).

I'm missing Ramadan already, I absolutely loved Ramadan this year, it really was special, it always is subhannallah but this year it was something else, I managed to spend many iftars with my family for one, something that I haven't done in a long time so that was great, I managed to cook as well and learnt a couple of new dishes which was sheer bliss for my mother bless her and I spent many a wonderful time with my sisters in Islam which was great and I cherish every moment.

Eid came so soon, its so difficult to believe that already the first day has ended and that 30 days of Ramadan just flew by, I pray that we will continue what we learnt from Ramadan and that we have come out of Ramadan much better individuals amen.

woke up bright and early today to the sound of my younger brother rushing down the stairs shouting 'its eid, its eid', I swear I miss that feeling that children have for eid, I remember I used to not sleep a wink in anticipation for eid day, and I would take my eid clothes out from the cupboard at least 10 times to look at it, ah the memories, then you grow up and things don't seem as exciting as they used to be, and eid clothes are no longer a bother, but I still love the feeling of unity and togetherness and that at least for the next couple of days people will try to be civil to one another.

by half past eight we where out of the house on our way to the Muslim Youth Foundation to pray eid prayer, I walked into the sisters section and wow it was packed, it was difficult finding a place to sit but eventually I did and the prayer started, afterwards whilst listening to the khutbah I looked around me and found one of the reasons why I love Britain so much, for the sheer fact that all around me where so many different colours, faces, cultures, races etc.. it was beautiful seriously, and most people had there traditional gear on, so I was sat next to a lovely Nigerian sister on my right and on my left was a Malaysian sister, next to her was an Arab sister and next to her was a revert, and the list can go on and on, its so cool, literally the colors of Islam.

we headed home, on the way back my dad did the takbirat al eid, and looking out the window I saw so many people leaving the mosques, all dressed smartly, smiling, saying salam to one another, hugging each other.

at home we had breakfast, now usually us libyans would have to have 3aseeda, a traditional dish made from flour, difficult to describe, this is what is looks like, I love it, its tradition to have it on the morning of eid, we didn't instead we had eggs, cheese etc, I miss 3aseeda sniff sniff...

at around 12 we got a call from the hospital informing us that my brother ha an appointment at 1:30 that day at the burn clinic. so of we went, my youngest brother grumbling on about 'what kind of eid is this, blah blah blah' poor thing was bored out of his mind, but it wasn't to bad alhamdullilah because when the consultant looked at the burn, she announced that he will not need an plastic surgery but instead content dressing, creaming, and a dose of physiotherapy as well.

my mum started to cry form happiness bless her and then hugged the consultant lol.

came home after that and attended a Libyan event, it was nice because we managed to say all our eid mubraks in one room to every one, usual sweets where handed out and all the teenage girls parading there eid clothes cute, and the ladies with there you've lost weight, you've gained weight business, rolls eyes, always the same lines lol.

we kissed our way out of there, I swear to say bye takes at least half an hour, a clever man will realize this so when he says 'haya let's go home' he knows he should allow for at least 30 - 45 minutes of preparation.

came home, my parents where feeling tired so they rested there eyes whilst me and my younger brother had a game of mortal combat on his play station and can I just point out to every one that I beat him 4 times, woooohoooo, he had his excuses but they where weak excuses, he wouldn't admit that I was the champion of the house.

my parents had had there 40 winks and it was time to get ready for visiting a lovely family that we always go to on eid day to have dinner with, and it's where I continuously embarrass myself with my clumsiness.

I had been in my boots all day that I completely forgot that my right sock had a hole where the big toe is, so my toe was peeking out and at first I was kinda good at disguising this by hiding it underneath my long skirt, but towards the middle of the evening I forgot and my toe made an appearance, my mum would look at me then mouth 'your toe' to which I would hurriedly hide it, lol.

then to make matters worse for me, when it was time to get the food, I got up to help bring in the food and stuff, at first I was doing well, bringing in the different plate and what not, but then it was time for me to bring in the harisa (chilli paste) which was in a nice metal like dish, we where eating off the floor so our host had spread the sheet on the floor and I bent down to put the harisa on the floor when accidently I dropped it, it would have been ok if it had just spoilt the sheet but NO, that's not how things work for me, instead it splattered all over the sheet, walls, seating and the people, my god I was so embarrassed and all I could do was cover my mouth, laugh hysterically and say 'oh my god, oh my god, I'm so sorry, so sorry, I always do this'

my mum just sat there and then burst into laughter, saying 'white African how could you, oh no, she always does this' and then proceeded to tell stories of the many times my clumsiness had embarrassed me and her, this was to be added to the list.

what a perfect end lol....

Thursday, October 19, 2006

prayers, contemplation and fire works

its amazing how fast Ramadan is leaving us, its like when a wonderful guest comes to stay with you and just as you get used to the guest and love having the guest with you, the guest has to leave.

on wednesday night it was the 27th night, and most people are of the opinion that laylatul qadr is most probably on this night so the mosques are generally packed out with worshippers, I decided to go to good old Muslim Youth Foundation with some friends and hamdullilah the numbers where just right, not many people, enough to create a lovely atmosphere.

it was such a lovely night walahi, starting from tarawih, then reminders and tahajud, snacks, dua suhur together and the fajir and mathurat after fajir, the feeling that takes over you is one of serenity and calm and you feel exhilarated and enthusiastic for the coming months and a belief that you can become a better person inshallah and that this year you will stick to the resolutions you make.

if only we had layalatul qadr every night, I guess we have to constantly remind ourselves.

around 3:30 am whilst we where praying, my dads phone kept ringing and continued to do so until he finished and was able to answer the phone, it was funny really cause he was leading the prayers and the sound of the message (his ring tone) going off in the background, very surreal..

anyway the caller was my brother, he was calling from hospital because my middle brother was coming home from the mosque after maghreb prayers, walking through the alleyway when some idiot threw a firework at him which exploded on his hand, burning him quite badly. He comes home with a red hand announcing to every one what had happened to him, opens the tap and sticks his hand under the cold water.

every so often my mum would ask him how his hand was, and he would reply 'ok, not bad, I think its going to be ok inshallah'.

so my mum and dad left and came to the mosque thinking that it was a slight burn and that keeping it cool would be fine. Turns out it's a chemical burn so it started to get really painful and blisters appearing and what not, poor thing couldn't stand the apin any longer so my brother to him to the hospital a&e, he wrapped a cloth soaked in cold water around his hand and that's how my mum and dad found him at hospital waiting to be seen.

eventually some one saw him and wrapped his hand in bandages and told him that he has a bad chemical burn and will need plastic surgery but no surgeons are available and he will have to come in after 3 days, poor thing.

my brother is left handed and it was his left hand that was burnt, so college is going to be an issue now.

how annoying is that, apparently its all the rage for stupid kids to get hold of fireworks, light them up and release them on random people, my brother being one of them, they love targeting old people especially, sick individuals, they really need to be sorted out, my brother didn't see who did it, but he will find out eventually because these idiots have a way of bragging about their acts.

what gets me is the idiot who sells these underage kids these fireworks, or the person who will buy it for them, there just as bad, they are putting peoples lives at risk by selling it to the dysfunctional members of our society who really should be sectioned under the mental health act.

and its ages till bon fire night nights, so why start selling them now? Its all about money, pathetic really.

what a way to end the night, hamdullilah it wasn't his eye or his life god forbid...

Sunday, October 15, 2006

i found this article on a site called and i was really impressed by this article, and it brought a smile to my face reading this because with all this madness happening recently its nice to know that others can recognise what we as muslims woman are all about.

To My Muslim Sisters

Between the Israeli assault on Lebanon and the Zionist “war on terror,” the Muslim world is now center stage in every American home. I see the carnage, death and destruction that have befallen Lebanon, but I also see something else: I see you. I can’t help but notice that almost every woman I see is carrying a baby or has children around her. I see that though they are dressed modestly, their beauty still shines through. But it’s not just outer beauty that I notice. I also notice that I feel something strange inside me: I feel envy. I feel terrible for the horrible experiences and war crimes that the Lebanese people have suffered, being targeted by our common enemy. But I can’t help but admire your strength, your beauty, your modesty, and most of all, your happiness. Yes, it’s strange, but it occurred to me that even under constant bombardment, you still seemed happier than we are, because you were still living the natural lives of women. The way women have always lived since the beginning of time. It used to be that way in the West until the 1960s, when we were bombarded by the same enemy. Only we were not bombarded with actual munitions, but with subtle trickery and moral corruption.

They bombarded us Americans from Hollywood, instead of from fighter jets or with our own American-made tanks. They would like to bomb you in this way too, after they’ve finished bombing the infrastructure of your countries. I do not want this to happen to you. You will feel degraded, just like we do. You can avoid this kind of bombing if you will kindly listen to those of us who have already suffered serious casualties from their evil influence. Because everything you see coming out of Hollywood is a pack of lies, a distortion of reality, smoke and mirrors. They present casual sex as harmless recreation because they aim to destroy the moral fabric of the societies into which they beam their poisonous programming. I beg you not to drink their poison. There is no antidote for it once you have consumed it. You may recover partially, but you will never be the same. Better to avoid the poison altogether than to try to heal from the damage it causes.

They will try to tempt you with their titillating movies and music videos, falsely portraying us American women as happy and satisfied, proud of dressing like prostitutes, and content without families. Most of us are not happy, trust me. Millions of us are on anti-depressant medication, hate our jobs, and cry at night over the men who told us they loved us, then greedily used us and walked away. They would like to destroy your families and convince you to have fewer children. They do this by presenting marriage as a form of slavery, motherhood as a curse, and being modest and pure as old-fashioned. They want you to cheapen yourself and lose your faith. They are like the Serpent tempting Eve with the apple. Don’t bite.

I see you as precious gems, pure gold, or the “pearl of great value” spoken of in the Bible (Matthew 13: 45). All women are pearls of great value, but some of us have been deceived into doubting the value of our purity. Jesus said: “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you” (Matthew 7: 6). Our pearls are priceless, but they convince us that they’re cheap. But trust me; there is no substitute for being able to look in the mirror and seeing purity, innocence and self-respect staring back at you. The fashions coming out of the Western sewer are designed to make you believe that your most valuable asset is your sexuality. But your beautiful dresses and veils are actually sexier than any Western fashion, because they cloak you in mystery and show self-respect and confidence. A woman’s sexuality should be guarded from unworthy eyes, since it should be your gift to the man who loves and respects you enough to marry you. And since your men are still manly warriors, they deserve no less than your best. Our men don’t even want purity anymore. They don’t recognize the pearl of great value, opting for the flashy rhinestone instead. Only to leave her too.

Your most valuable assets are your inner beauty, your innocence, and everything that makes you who you are. But I notice that some Muslim women push the limit and try to be as Western as possible, even while wearing a veil (with some of their hair showing). Why imitate women who already regret, or will soon regret, their lost virtue? There is no compensation for that loss. You are flawless diamonds. Don’t let them trick you into becoming rhinestones. Because everything you see in the fashion magazines and on Western television is a lie. It is Satan’s trap. It is fool’s gold.

I’ll let you in on a little secret, just in case you’re curious: pre-marital sex is not even that great. We gave our bodies to the men we were in love with, believing that that was the way to make them love us and want to marry us. Just as we had seen on television growing up. But without the security of marriage and the sure knowledge that he will always stay with us, it’s not even enjoyable! That’s the irony. It was just a waste. It leaves you in tears. Speaking as one woman to another, I believe that you understand that already. Because only a woman can truly understand what’s in another woman’s heart. We really are all alike. Our race, religion or nationalities do not matter. A woman’s heart is the same everywhere. We love. That’s what we do best. We nurture our families and give comfort and strength to the men we love. But we American women have been fooled into believing that we are happiest having careers, our own homes in which to live alone, and freedom to give our love away to whomever we choose. That is not freedom. And that is not love. Only in the safe haven of marriage can a woman’s body and heart be safe to love. Don’t settle for anything less. It’s not worth it. You won’t even like it and you’ll like yourself even less afterwards. Then he’ll leave you.

Sin never pays. It always cheats you. Even though I have reclaimed my honor, there’s still no substitute for having never been dishonored in the first place. We Western women have been brainwashed into thinking that you Muslim women are oppressed. But truly, we are the ones who are oppressed; slaves to fashions that degrade us, obsessed with our weight, begging for love from men who do not want to grow up. Deep down inside, we know that we have been cheated. We secretly admire and envy you, although some of us will not admit it. Please do not look down on us or think that we like things the way they are. It’s not our fault. Most of us did not have fathers to protect us when we were young because our families have been destroyed. You know who is behind this plot. Don’t be fooled, my sisters. Don’t let them get you too. Stay innocent and pure. We Christian women need to see what life is really supposed to be like for women. We need you to set the example for us, because we are lost. Hold onto your purity. Remember: you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. So guard your “toothpaste” carefully!
I hope you receive this advice in the spirit in which it is intended: the spirit of friendship, respect, and admiration. From your Christian sister – with love.
© 2006+ Joanna Francis

nice article, its lovley to know that in these times one can bond with other faiths....

as a muslim woman i am truly free, islam has liberated me and if you have a problem with this, with my veil then the problem is really your problem and not mine, and as all problems need to be resolved i advice you to resolve your problems and kindly leave me and my veil be.....

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


i love this nasheed and video, it's a reminder especially cause we easily get absorbed by our daily life and rituals that we can easily get absorbed and forget our place here on earth, a journey that we need to keep track on.

may allah forever guide us.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Recently as part of the junk mail that comes in the daily post at home as well at work, a certain person has decided to announce his business to the world, now he is not the first nor I'm sure will he be the last, I personally do not know him, but what I'm 100% certain is that he is a fraud as well as a liar.

I'm sure you all have had his advert in your post or some thing similar, the one I got a couple of days ago sounds like this:

Mr El Hadj - Clairvoyant, Spiritual Healer, World Renowned
Mr. El Hadj, medium, psychic, spiritualist world renowned for accurate revelations in past, present & future. He inherited the power from his grandparents. This is a gift passed on from generation to generation. He will help solve your problems in relationships, business, stock market, work, finance, exams, court cases etc.., bring your loved one back, health related problems that cant be identified & sexual impotency. Protect yourself and your family from bad spirits & bad luck these and many other problems
guaranteed results within 7 days.
on the side of the card it says: pay after results.
well, like I said I'm certain you have come across such nonsense because this type of stuff has been posted to many homes in Britain for years now.
I never really took any interest in it, I kinda just read it, laughed and threw it away, but a couple of days ago, for some reason I became curious, so I thought I would call this man obviously pretending to be some one else and ask him a couple of questions to see what he had to say for himself, the conversation went something like this:
me: hello, can I speak to Mr el hadj please? (I had put on a strong mancunian accent)
man: hello, who is this:
me: um my name is bianca, is Mr el hadj there?
man: your ring first time?
me: yeh that's rights
man: ok hold second please (had a strong African accent)
some one shouting in the back ground, eventually another man comes on the line
man: hello
me: hello again, is that Mr el hadj?
man: um yes, I'm el hadj, who speak please?
me: yeh hi Mr elhadj I'm Bianca, I got your business card in the post today and thought I would call you
man: hello Bianca how can I assist you (how polite)
me: well I was wondering if you could help me out?
man: yes of course, what is your problem
me: well, could you please first tell me what methods it is you use to help people, I'm really interested in this sort of stuff and you sound fascinating to me
man: yes, I have natural power
me: wow
man: thank you, also I meditate and I speak to jinn, you know magical creatures, I use quran, holy book, I can read palms and tell you future, my powers are strong and I can help with any problem.
me: wow sounds great Mr hadj, I was wondering, can you communicate with the dead? you know spirits and ghosts and stuff?
man: yes yes, no problem
me: really, that's great, its just that I have some loved ones who died and you know Mr hadj, some times I can feel them, like there watching me and protecting me, does that sound silly Mr hadj?
man: no no, you are correct
me: really? oh that makes all the difference to me Mr hadj, I swear I thought I was going mad, so could you make contact with me family then, you know get them to speak to me from the other side
man: yes yes, no problem,
me: oh brilliant, so Mr hadj what's your prices like
man: well you don't pay anything until you get results (just like his card said)
me: oh really, you that confident are you?
man: yes mam 100% success rate
me: oh ok, so no charge
man: yes but you know there is a standard 30 pounds charge for reading palms
me: oh but I don't want my future told
man: no its a must so we can do what you want
me: oh in tha case fine, 30 pounds not including the cost of the other stuff
man: yep
me: ok Mr elhadj I do have a little problem though, it's very difficult to read my hands, my friend tried once and couldn't, and I once went to a fortune teller in a circus and she couldn't, apparently my hands are made different, so could you read my feet instead?
man: sorry?
me: could you read my feet instead of my hands?
man: feet??? (at which point I was really trying not to laugh)
me: yes Mr hadj
man: yes yes, ok, no problem, I read feet or anything else
me: no just feet will do thank you
man: ok, no problem
me: ok then, what I will do Mr hadj is think it over and then call you back
man: you make no appointment
me: yeh I'm going to think about it and let you know, thanks Mr el hadj
man: ok, bye
me: bye
and that was that, it just confirmed to me that he is a fraud, and it annoys me that they actually do get suckers out there who fall for there tricks.
whets really bad is the fact that he uses Islam as a means of confirming his POWERS, is what he does allowed? a watch body should look into this and put an end to it.
I'm thinking of calling him again and just annoying him, seriously if any one is contemplating contacting him to solve there problems, DON'T, you will only come back moneyless and problem unsolved.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

in the jungle

hana sis, i dedicate this to u, yo have sung it to me so many times that i interupts my dreams as well lol, enjoy girly...

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Its official I have no blood in me.

for the last couple of days I have been feeling dizzy, tired and nauseas, classic symptoms that my anemia is playing up, I was prescribed iron tablets like months ago but never really took them cause they make me feel sick, so the doctor decided to put me on liquid iron which I took one table spoon of and instantly spat out, even though it was supposed to be caramel flavour, it tasted more like blood yuk!

I swear it's not nice, so I haven't been taking my medication, what I have been trying to do is eat red meats and raisins and what not, so its been ok up until Ramadan that is, its all coming back to me ( I feel I should break into celine dion).

so yesterday I thought I would have a blood test to see the iron levels, and I knew this was going to be an issue, it always is whenever I need a blood test, see what it is, no matter how deep the needle goes in and it doesn't matter where it goes in, the blood just refuses to come out, it protests and complains and will not budge not even an inch, so the result is you get one very bruised white African.

just forget about even trying to get blood out of my arms, aint gonna happen people, even when I was in hospital for like a week they tried and couldn't, so then you move down to my wrists, trying to get blood from there is not easy and not pain free, but it doesn't always work ask ever the idealist she has been there, done that and bought the tea shirt but she managed to take blood out of me so girl you are good mashallah.

I got two bruises yesterday on my hands where the needles went in and the result was no blood sniff sniff.

today I thought lets try again, so I put my hand under the hot water tap for 5 minutes trying to encourage the veins to pop out, apparently this is a trick nurses use for patients who have no veins ahem ahem, so 5 minutes later, I'm sat in the nurses room and have filled 2 bottles worth of my non existing blood TAKBIR!!!!

wow it gushed out like there was no tomorrow, finally.

so yeh this has been my excitement for the past 2 days,