sometimes we say or do something that we later want to take back regardless of how small or big it is.

in my case this seems to be a repetitive feature in my life, alhamdullilah most of the time its just stupidity on my part and generally the only person who gets embarrassed and wants to bury there face in the ground is me, every one else just laughs at me and not with me :)

I have come to accept this of me but it still does not give me immunity to being horrified at my clumsiness.

yesterday lady k called me on a private number, so I was chatting to her and what not then after like 5 minutes we ended the conversation, 2 seconds later my phone rings again and it was a private number so I'm thinking lady k forgot to tell me something so instead of answering the phone in the usual 'hello' or sallamuallykum' I answered in a really loud and high pitched voice ' BANANA WOMAN' and to my amazment it was a man who was calling and not lady k, he wanted to introduce me to his wife who was a freshy and didnt know any one her age.

let me explain myself, I have this habit where I call people banana's, where it came from? God knows, but its something that has been a part of my life for some time now. I don't swear so instead I call people by fruit and vegetable names like pumpkin for example, also I use it in an affectionate manner as well like with this incidence, calling my close friends banana, apple, grape face etc...

so I was being my usual self when I answered the phone, but its not a side of me that I tend to show to every one especially people I don't know, especially men!!!

the man paused for a few seconds and then all I heard was ummm asslamu allylum, al ukht white African? (translation Salaam, sister white African?) and then I jumped up and down in horror continuously.

I eventually spoke to his wife and if I get to know her better I'm going to ask her what her husband thought when I answered the phone lol.

Nun accused of religious harassment
Friday, 15th December 2006

A nun was convicted of religious harassment after ranting against 'terrorist' Muslims in the middle of London's busy Oxford Street.

Sister Ruth Augustus, 66, was fined £200 after she shouted at two women in full robes and veils "you're probably terrorists, get back to your own country".Later she told cops who arrested her they should go back to Iraq and have their heads chopped off.City of Westminster Magistrates Court heard how trouble flared when Augustus, a missionary who has worked with prostitutes in the developing world, was handing out prayer leaflets outside Debenhams department store on Easter Tuesday.When people of Muslim appearance passed she called out "Jesus loves Muslims," but two ladies in traditional dress took offence.Fellow leafleter, Tony Rollins, told the court: "The ladies answered back and told her shut her stupid mouth."Sister Ruth said to them 'you're probably terrorists, get back to your own country'. They gave her a long, hard stare before walking away."I was cringing at what she said. It made me feel very uneasy."

WPC Natasha Walker said she heard a 'commotion' outside the shop and went to investigate.The officer said: "I heard someone shouting 'terrorists, terrorists' more than once. It's busy on Oxford Street, so she must have been shouting really loud."I turned round and noticed there were a group of people standing outside Debenhams. Sister Augustus was shouting 'terrorists' repeatedly and other things about Muslims."I asked her to stop, but she refused. She said 'I will not stop, I'm a nun'."Because she refused to stop I arrested her. She said 'You're not arresting me, I'm a nun. It's a waste of tax payers' money. You're arresting me because you're a Muslim.'"WPC Walker called for for colleagues to help bundle the 'agitated and aggressive' into the back of the police van.WPC Keeley Pemberton said when she arrived she heard Augustus shouting at PC Walker "Take your dirty hands off me, you're a Muslim."After a night in police cells Augustus was bailed to return to Marylebone Police Station in June, but when her solicitor didn't show, she launched into another tirade, it was said.She called the two officers morons, referred to one as 'WPC Muslim Walker', and shouted in the public waiting area "This is a Muslim country full of terrorists," the court heard.WPC Pemberton said Augustus became increasingly 'agitated and abusive'.She said: "I asked her to be quiet and she shouted 'Go back to Iraq' and was pointing at WPC Walker. She said it very aggressively."Then she looked at me and said 'You should go with her and both of you will get your heads chopped off'."WPC Walker said: "She said to me 'you should go back to Iraq where you belong, where all the terrorists are. You are likely to be beheaded. You deserve it'."When she was arrested again she ranted at officers "You're all morons, especially that Muslim - she's a chimpanzee and she needs to go back to the zoo with the other chimpanzees," WPC Pemberton said.

Augustus, who represented herself after sacking her lawyer early in the proceedings, was frequently told to be quiet as she heckled the witnesses.While giving evidence, she insisted on wearing a large placard with a picture of Jesus on it round her neck.She claimed she had in fact suggested to the officers that they should stop wasting time on her and instead go out and catch paedophiles and rapists, or go out to Iraq to help our troops fight terrorists.Augustus accused police of "religious bigotry and hatred" and claimed she was handled roughly, locked in a cell when she was ill, and strip-searched in the street.She said: "I was responding to extreme provocation. The police were abusing me and were acting in a most satanic, brutal and unprofessional manner. I felt entitled to call them chimpanzees because that is how they were behaving."The reference to beheading she said was in reference to the catholic missionary Margaret Hassan, who was kidnapped and murdered by insurgents.Augustus, of Kensington, was found guilty of two charges of religiously aggravated harassment.District Judge Emma Arbuthnot told her: "I have no doubt at all that Sister Augustus's behaviour amounted to religiously aggravated harassment."This was extremely upsetting and rude behaviour which harassed and alarmed not just the officers but others who were around at the time."It is clear from her behaviour today that she was an extremely difficult defendant to deal with. The officers I'm sure dealt with her as best they could and cannot be criticised."She was fined a total of £200 plus £40 court costs. The judge told the pensioner: "By rights you should pay compensation but I'm not going to make you as you are not in a position to pay any more."

Augustus replied: "It's a disgrace. If this is British justice, I'm going back to Africa. They are more civilised there." She vowed to appeal against her conviction in the highest court

loooooooooool that last sentance was a killer for me 'if this is british justice then im going back to Africa' ignoring the fact that Africa is full of Muslims, nuns always come across as being sweet and calm, evidently not this one, although i'm not going to fall into the same trap she did and tarnish every one with the same brush..

the Muslim ladies shouldnt have told her to shut up though, that was wrong, i would have told her 'i know, Jesus loves all muslims, just as we love him'...

Some people have no people skills, the whole communication process and etiqutes of interaction are non-existent in certain people, they seriously need a course in human interaction.

for instance take yesterday for example, after the Islamic course this past weekend (which was brilliant mashallah) some of us decided we would got out for dinner, it had been ages since we had chilled out and enjoyed each others company so around 11 of us headed towards the curry mile (wilmsolow road) went to a particular restaurant, managed to find seating for 11 of us.

now we hadn't been out for a meal with each other for yonks so obviously we where in high spirits, laughing and generally talking and enjoying each others company as any one would in the company of good friends, we where not particularly loud, the volume hadn't increased to maximum as yet.

the waiter came along and announced his presence and asked if any one wanted any starters?
to which I replied yes an onion bhaji please, lady k was sat next to me and burst out laughing thinking I was joking, then realized that I was serious I really wanted an onion bhaji, I hadn't had one is ages so now was the perfect time to order them, the twin laughed and said bhaji onion onion bahaji, and I replied by saying uncle onion (bhaji can also mean aunt) so we where kinda laughing about that when the waiter comes out with 'can you calm down, you have a family sat behind you'

we all just looked at each other, I swear it wasn't like we where hysterical, or even shouting and laughing in loud voices, we where being normal, one of the girls said to him that we where just having a bit of fun to which he replied ' well your not in a playground, your in a restaurant', how rude!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am 100% certain that if we where different customers we would never have been spoken to like that, what really gets to me is the sheer cheek and how arrogant he was.

we just sat there completely shocked looking at each other, he totally spoilt our mood, lady k turns around to me and says 'lets get out of here, we should go some place else'

and I agreed, eventually after a brief consultation with every one else we decided to leave and go to the restaurant across the road, before we left the waiter came and asked what the problem was, we told him we had a problem with his attitude and his approach. He then looks at me and says ' sister sister...', now that really peeved me of when he did that and when I'm peeved of I react so I looked at him and said' don't sister me, Brother...

its all sister this and sister that, where all Muslims etc.. Why cant he admit that he did wrong, why does he have to use our connection to try to shut me up, a simple apology would have been fine, we are humans and we make mistakes and admitting to your mistakes is one way of apologizing.

he ended up loosing customers, it was more of a lesson to him to make him realize that he cant talk to people the way he did, regardless of whether I am his sister or not...

Hamada_Helal-Mohamed_Nabena

i just love this song, i know the video clip is corny but i love th etune and the words, reminds me of when my mum went to hajj and brought back an islamic nashid of a different verison of this nashid.

look im in the whole wanting to be somewhere i cant be at this moment so im having my moments

I got a text this morning that to be honest I wish I never got and never expected to get and I'm so disappointed.

the text was: 'we regret to inform you that we have been unsuccessful in obtaining visas for any price. We will arrange refunds soon'

I had such high hopes wallahi of performing hajj this year, I know that everything that happens in our life is for our benefit but I cant help feeling such sadness, I'm at work and seriously I cant be bothered working, twice I have answered the phone nearly in tears...

I still have some hope in me but its slowly fading and I really don't want to wait a year, I really was hoping to go and better myself and change my life completely.

subhanallah I keep saying to myself the same ayah over and over again 'do not hate something it may be that it is better for you'

but I'm so upset wallahi and I so know that I'm gonna be on a low for sometime, the visa people so need sorting out, its been mad this year loads of people from Britain are not able to go because of new laws of some sort.

I'm seriously considering crossing the border into Saudi without a visa, pay the man on the border some money to shut him up and hey presto hajj here I come...

ok joking aside, please pray for me people that whatever the outcome I am able to accept it and that if hajj is postponed a year for me then the year will pass in the blink of an eye lid..

I seriously need to take some time out from work though...

guess what????????????????

come on keep guessing...........................

one more chance................................

give up?

well I was in London this weekend and when I came back Sunday night I noticed that my mums car was parked outside the house, yep that's correct and not only that completely intact, not a scratch.

well you could imagine how dumbstruck I was, I seriously thought that I had walked into a time warp and found myself back in time with Dr who music palying in the back ground, freaky...

so I walk into the house shouting 'MAMA' and after the initial hugs and kisses I was informed that on Saturday afternoon the police called to speak to my mum with the news that her car had been found in some park somewhere abandoned, my mum asked him about the state of the car to which he replied 'no idea, here is the address you will have to go and find our for yourself'

so of my parents went to this park and low and behold the car is there, and nothing was taken, the cd player was still their, as was the Swedish clogs (which I was really happy about, those clogs are cool) in the boot along with the box of chocolates which was not touched, amazing...

the tyres where not their though, how weird??? So my dad had to get tyres to replace the one taken.

really weird huh? Not sure what to make of this, I think it was some kids who wanted to go joyriding (funnily enough my mum had filled the tank the day before) and something must have happened to the tyre so they abandoned the car, will I ever find out? Only god knows..

I just wanted to say a big thank you to you all for your kind comments, it was lovely and you guys are absolutely great and I dedicate this bouquet of flowers to you all.

Just as I have started to put my faith back in humanity, humanity slaps me across the face, ok maybe not quite, but still it gave me a good beating today....

this morning at work my mum calls me and she says ' when you left for work this morning did you by any chance see the car?'

to which I replied 'ummmm I honestly cant remember, I was to busy trying to keep my eyes open'

to which she informed me ' well the car has been stolen'

???????????????????????????????- well what could I say, congratulations, another example of how twisted people can be.

frustrating or what? what would make a person do that? Take something that is not theirs? I don't get it and I don't understand, seriously it really bothers me to think that people out their will violate peoples trust and help themselves when clearly they are not welcome.....

subhanallah I gotta remind myself that everything happens for a reason and that everything that happens is for our benefit, it could be that we where prevented from a major crash where we could have lost our lives, so alhamdullilah, praise be to Allah.

what really annoys me is not the material aspect of this but the concept of taking what is not yours, even if its a penny so long as its not yours then its forbidden.

our car is probably burnt to charcoal in some deserted place or at the bottom of a lake somewhere, sob sob....

I cant stand thieves, they are the lowest of the low and deserve what's coming to them...

human beings are amazing, just when you loose hope in people, a random act of kindness blows you away. Just the other day I had finished work (it was the day that I had no sleep) and began my journey home and because the clouds felt sorry for me for being so darn tired they decided to cry all over me or in other words it began to rain....

Manchester is the rainy city in Britain, I have come to accept this so it didn't really bother me when it started to rain, I had no umbrella so I wrapped my head scarf around me even more and blocked out the noise of traffic cause I had become deaf due to my headscarf plus my ipod.

so I'm walking walking walking when a man approached me with one of the biggest umbrella's I have ever seen, I can see that he's talking but I cant hear him, so I pulled out my head phones and un wrapped a couple layers of my scarf to be able to hear him, this is how the conversation went:

man: excuse me, sorry ummmm ummmm

me: yes (I was not amused and my patience was extinct I had buried it along with my charm)

man: ummmm sister sorry, I too am a Muslim (at which point he smiled and looked really pleased with himself lol)

to be honest when he approached me and said that I instantly thought he was going to ask for money, so I was really cynical and non responsive, I have had a couple of encounters with men who say they are Muslim and then tell me a sob story as to how they where mugged and need to get to London but he doesn't have any cash on him or cards so could he borrow £50 to get him to London to be with his wife and disabled son, these men are always well dressed and so polite and good actors but I am never convinced, one guy told me that he came home one day to find that his wife was committing adultery and had kicked him out of his house with only the clothes on his back and he had to sleep on a park bench (no proof, he looked immaculately clean and ironed) and he needs £30 to get him to Birmingham to be with his mother every body say aaaaaaaaaaaa He had a extremely strong Asian accent, and when I told him that I had difficulty believing his story he turns around and says 'well who needs your money any way' in a really strong mancunian accent, the cheek...

so understandably I thought this guy was gonna be the same, any way to continue the conversation:

man: yes I aMuslim, please sister have my umbrella, please

me: (dumbstruck).....Sorry

man: please I would like you to have my umbrella I don't want you to get wet

me: oooooooooooh, thank you so much that's so nice of you I'm fine thank you so much for that that really kind (I couldn't shut up I just kept talking)

man: please sister I would rather you have it

me: gosh thank you, but I'm ok I have one already wrapped around my head, my hijab lol blah blah blahI(i was over come by his kindness loool) thank you anyway...

man: ok sister as you wish

how nice is that, to be honest that was the last thing I was expecting and it really touched me that such acts of kindness can exist.

I do believe in chivalry and you certainly don't see that around any more, very rarely will some one offer their seats or any of that business, so when it does happen it brings about feelings of complete and utter shock.

thanks bro for your offer of the umbrella

People I am suffering from sleep deprivation, I was in London this weekend for a friends wedding which was lovely mashallah, but I didn't sleep very well during the weekend and I got into Manchester at 3am this morning and had to wake bright and early for work so I am exhausted and tired and did I mention sleep deprived.

apparently not sleeping enough can interfere with memory, energy levels, mental abilities and emotional mood I agree wholeheartedly.

memory: at the moment it's like a fish (why do they say that, I'm sure its a myth, goldfish are not that bad, maybe dori from nemo is more appropriate), two second memory seriously, today a patient got offended cause I forgot there name!!! Please I barley remember my own name.

energy levels: yep at the moment they are at a low level, so far I have had one cup of coffee and one cup of tea, cold might I add, and the caffeine has done nothing for me.

mental abilities: hmmmmm, I have to admit my brain is not functioning correctly at the moment, I think I'm using 2% percent of it, just barley living more or less, ooooops there goes my oxygen mask....

emotional mood: some would argue that because I am of the female variety then emotionally we are unstable (not true), at the moment though a timer is ticking and I may just explode or fall asleep right here on the desk and I couldn't care less if I was caught- bring it on...

also other signs are:

• irritability - oh yes without a shadow of a doubt.
• blurred vision - I need glasses anyway so no surprises there!!
• slurred speech- jhdfjkhfncjkhdfjkhsdf - translation - just a tiny bit
• hallucinations- I would like to say that I am seeing headless people everywhere but its not that severe, only thing I can think of is I am answering the telephone when its not even ringing!!
• increased blood pressure - ok I'm gonna go and take it....
• faster aging- oh my god I have white hair!!!!
• slowed reaction time- ................................................ oh yeh
• yawning- its my second name
• daytime naps- I wish..

so do you fall into any of the above categories, if so call blah blah blah number and they will send a special delivery of a punch to knock you out to cuckoo land of sleep.....

I had an eye test yesterday, for quite some time now I cant make out the number on the bus, kitty can vouch for this, seriously I would be convinced that it would be the number 86 and it would turn out to be 142 for example, the last eye exam I had was something like 1996, ages ago, the optician reacted when I said that, other than he had the same facial expression through out kinda like keanu reeves acting, no expression what so ever lol.

I had to pay 18 pounds for my eye test, the end result is that my left eye is weaker than my right eye and that I will need glasses for reading from a distance etc.. If I continue to wear the glasses then my eye sight will improve eventually, he gave me a prescription and I am expected to get me a pair of glasses yesssssssssssssssssss

what you gotta understand is that since childhood I have had three wishes (saving the world, becoming a artist, world peace etc,, are not part of these wishes, they where always on a different wish list). To put it quite simply as a child I wanted:

1. glasses (soon to have inshallah)
2. braces
3. freckles

yep that's correct, braces, I just think they are so cool, I had a friend who had braces and she had these little elastic bands that she would attach to her braces, and she had colored braces wow, I used to get paper clips and open them up and shape them around my teeth so that it looked like I had braces, I cut the inside of my mouth really badly doing that so never try that experiment out it really hurts!!!

now it costs a bomb to have braces fitted cause I'm over 18, which sucks, its like over 500 pounds to have metal fitted to your teeth and probably even more to have it in different colors.

the whole freckles thing is so cool, I think they are so cute and sweet and I used to wish I had them, I once got my mums kohl and dotted my whole face, when I looked in the mirror I scared my self, it looked like I had hundreds of black heads instead of freckles, my mum told me off for wasting her eye liner, I tried it with her lipstick ended up looking like I had a severe allergic reaction to something, there was a stage in my life where I thought if I sat under the sun for ages I would develop freckles, I just ended up getting heat stroke, no freckles and no tan cause I never tan, not one bit, it took me years to realise that.

now I need to go glasses shopping, hmmmmm should I get dame Edna style?

Maradonna Bellydance!

i dont know if you guys have already seen this but when i watched this i nearly fell laughing.

I have been tagged by native to type up 6 weird facts about myself, that's not gonna be a problem (I think) weirdness is my second name people...

ok so here goes:

1. singing, certain people will vouch for this, I sing all the time, most of the time I don't even realise I'm singing, what really gets on peoples nerves is that when I have a certain tune in my head I will sing it over and over again and 9 out of 10 times I wont know the full song so its like a broken record singing the same lines over and over again. I remember one time in Libya I was in one of the mini supermarkets with my aunt looking at the shampoos and I saw the sun silk range and the advert tune popped into my head and instantly I stared singing it dum dum dum dum dum durum durum etc.. My aunt runs up to me horrified 'what you doing she says, singing I tell her, she then whispers you cant do that, they might think your a majnoona (crazy) or looking for attention, I was like but I'm not though but still I was dragged out of that shop looooooool.
2. I have a vast imagination where I end up going into my own little world and forget what's happening around me, I used to day dream a lot as a kid and would make up stories about every day objects, there was a period in my life where I would swallow rice whole and refus to chew it because I imagined that the rice where families and that I would be killing a member of the family if I chewed so I wanted all of them to live and I would imagine the rice rejoicing in my stomach and celebrating I had to stop this when I started getting stomach cramps. I know I know but it proved entertaining to my parents and even now they still amuse themselves by reminding me of my weirdness.
3. my taste in shoes would have to be number 3, now I think I have an interesting taste and I would go so far as to call it cool (do people still use that phrase?) but yet even though my opinions are important to me people still point them out and comment, well what can I say I guess I'm unique and individualistic and most defiantly not a sheep....
4. my sense of humor I gotta say is really weird, I can find things really funny that others wont find amusing in the least and I would be up for a joke anytime although it has calmed over the years, there was a time when if I was dared to do something then come what may I would do this dare, now adays I gotta think about it at least 6 times before rushing into a dare and my understanding of the din may prevent me from going into certain dares which proves that I have matured to a certain extent round of applause people... Growing up with my brothers I have to say I did play tricks on them for my own amusement, like the time I put my brother in the oven (it was off, no fire so don't go all shocked on me)
5. my love of salt, wow I cant seem to have enough of it, sometimes I will put salt on the food even before I taste it which really annoys my mother, but uts a habit and I remember when I was at uni all the brs and srs that used to get takeaways and bring them back to the uni prayer room would bring extra salt so that by the end of the year their was a drawer dedicated to salt sachets only just for MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... Also cause I'm talking about food and stuf what's really nice is eating crisps and toffee at the same time, really nice, especially ready salted crisps with toffee sweets, try it out some time.
6. lastly the fact that I drum on doors, desks, tables anything I find myself drumming all the time, I do it even in meetings and I only relase I'm doing it when every one shuts up and looks at me waiting fro me to stop, some habits are hard to kill drum drum drum drum drum drum drum...

I tag all of the readers to blog their 6 weird facts about themselves, go go go go go go...

Ok I have been meaning to blog about this for some time cause it really makes me feel like screaming...

the worst thing I see around these days is that stupid fashion of wearing the trousers below the backside, belt included, showing underwear to every tom dick and Harry without seeking their permission, if some one wanted to show me their underwear then I would prefer if they asked:

'excuse me I have this sudden urge to pull my pants down to just below my bum and show you my underwear would you mind?'

HELL YES, of course I would mind!!! 'just give me a minute while I pull out my brown paper bag to puke in'

seriously its ridiculous and besides all that it doesn't even look nice, the worst is when there trousers are already at a dangerous level and then they decide to bend down, what are they thinking!!!! Which idiot convinced these people that it is a cool thing to do and why are people sheep following each others whims...

the history behind it is prison, men where not allowed to wear belts incase they decided to go on a suicide mission so because of the lack of belts you would get the hanging trousers affect, at least they had an excuse, what is the excuse of today's mentality???

its actually funny as well because not only is the guys underwear waving hello at you but also some of them are tripping up on their trousers at the bottom and looking clumsy, when I trip I trip with class, when they trip people just think DUH PULL YOUR TROUSERS UP... Also because the back is hanging loose under the backside you get the affect of a baby that has filled its nappy, that's right they look like they have had a big accident in their trousers yuk!!!

the other day I was waiting to take some money out of the cash machine and there was this guy informs of me who couldn't do anything because his trousers where falling down because he had them low to begin with (probably trying to break a record of 'how low can you have your trousers) so he was trying to get hold of his trousers as well as put his card in the machine and was finding it really difficult to juggle these to tasks, for a second he looked at me as if to say 'please help me I am disfunctionate' but the look I gave him made him turn his trousersless backside around.

if there are any readers out there who are advocates of 'releasing the bum to all' then please think again, its vulgar, not very nice and extremely uncomfortable for you, and besides every one is laughing at you now that's humiliating...

what is the strangest present a person has given you?

the other day I was at work and a patient walks in and says:

patient: serdee (that's how she pronounces my name, funny isn't it?) where have you been? Every time I come in the evenings and I ask about you, the girls tell me that you don't work evening shifts, why do you do this to me serdee?

me: lol, well Mondays and Tuesdays I only do morning and afternoon its Thursdays and Fridays that I do evenings.

patient: I see, ok its just that I wanted to get you a drink

when she said that my face kinda changed cause I was thinking to myself 'drink? What kinda drink? My god she has bought me a bottle of wine or something?

she noticed my facial expression and laughed out loud and said

patient: serdee get that look of your face, don't worry its not alcohol before your mind wonders..

me: was it that obvious?

patient: course, look in the mirror and tell me that your not obvious

me: lol,

patient: anyway now that I have put your mind at rest, I wanted to get you a little something from me, but I'm not the type of person that wastes my money on cards or rubbish like that, I'm a practical person and I wanted to give you something that you could appreciate more than a card or candles, so I've brought you some water.

me: gosh, thanks, you really shouldn't have (to be honest I was dumbstruck lol)

patient: don't be silly I just wanted to show my appreciation for all that you do for me

and with that she pulls out this plastic bag tha looks very heavy, and inside is 4 huge bottles of spring water..

I can honestly say that its most defiantly a unique present lol

her gesture really touched me and it was extremely sweet of her and she's right its practical and healthy, and now I have the to force myself to drink water which is always a good thing..

so my dearest bloggers, what's the strangest gift you have ever been given?

it's official, yesterday i payed the rest of the money for Hajj so inshallah i will be leaving on the 20th December to perform Hajj, so exciting..

i have had the injections, got my menengitis certificate, took 4 passport sized photos, handed in my passport and now awaiting the visa.

I cant belive i'm going, i dont think its really sunk in yet, probably when i'm at the airport i'm gonna be like 'my god i'm gonna be a going to mecca'.

everyone keeps asking if i have started preparing, can you guess what the answer is:
>
>
>
>
>
thats right i have'nt, i am so a last minute.com person, so probably the night before i'm gonna be rushing around like a headless chicken, and my mum is going to give me the same lecture:

' how many times have i told you not to leave things till the last minute, you are so like your father, you have so not inhertied that habit from my side of the family'

which is quite funny cause my parents are cousins, granted distant by like loads of generations but still same surname lol.

i'm supposed to get loads of things cause people have been giving me all sorts of tips including my mother who has been twice, at the moment whats the top of my list of priority things is an a-z book of hajj, i wish someone could publish a 'Hajj for dummies' edition, now that would be cool.

also i need to get loads of cleaning products like bleach, wipes etc.. i've heard loads of horror stories about toilet situations and stuff, i so do not want to risk it, i swear if i could i would carry a portable toilet in my suit case..

my little brother (he's 12) is coming as well and i have had extreme great pleasure in teasing him about his ihram, i swear its so funny, i keep giving him different scenarios of his ihram falling from him and leaving him butt naked, in the begining he would ignore me but now he screams 'MAMA TELL HER' and my mum would tell me to stop to which i do but then later i would bring it back into the converstaion hee hee hee.

im kinda worried about myself behaving because i have this habit of laughing and i'm hoping that i can control myself and hold my laughter when i see things that desreve to be laughed about, also i can get really peeved off with peoples lack of consideration which apparently happens alot over their, so people i need your duas and i will most definatly be praying for you all.

if any one wants a particular dua then let me know, you have about 4 weeks....

Some people make their life so difficult for no reason what so ever and they force their opinions on every one else.

for example yesterday a lady rang to speak to me, my colleague asked her if she wouldn't mind being put on hold because I was juggling 3 different jobs at once, the lady replied that she would wait, so my colleague placed her on hold.

now, like most businesses, when placed on hold, you get entertained by music, some choose the pop variety, others old school style of music, our work place prefers Mozart and Beethoven, classic stuff, its not like we can choose any way cause it comes with the phone package system.

so as soon as I finished what I was doing I spoke to her, this is how the conversation went:

me: hello, I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting, how can I help

woman: no problem, but I wish you wouldn't play music to your patients seeing how its haram

me: ummmm (silence) I wasn't playing any music, I don't have the time, but if you mean the phone, well the music comes with the phone and there are... Doesn't matter, how can I help?

see I was going to go into the whole difference of opinion blah blah blah etc.. But then I realised I was talking to some one which to me was the same as talking to a brick wall, no reaction no change, not willing to listen so really no point in entering into any discussions with this type of person, sad really.

the same lady a couple of months ago was sat in the reception area and was speaking to a devout Christian lady, both these woman are Arab. The opinionated lady was telling the Christian lady that she should do the shahadah before its to late, that she will regret it if she doesn't etc... The Christian lady told her that Muslims, Christians, Jews we all believe in the same god. The opinionated lady then turned around and said:

well I have done my duty, I have informed you, now you cant come up to me on the day of judgment and drag me with you to hell cause I have told you the truth'

applaud people applaud, a round of applause for this weirdo of a lady who does not have any people skills, my god where do they get these ideas of dawah from, inviting people to the din is through our actions not forcing our opinions on people and making them hate us and not want to be around us.

I swear the Christian lady couldn't wait to get away from this woman and I don't blame her, I am of the opinion that actions speak louder than words and we should treat people the way we would like to be treated....

people I'm so sad and I feel cut of from the world.

why? You may ask..

well to put it quite simply, MY PHONE WAS STOLEN ON FRIDAY NIGHT...

boo hoo, sniff sniff, wail wail..

how in the world did we survive with out mobile phones? How did we contact people? How did people contact us? When deciding to meet some where and the person doesn't turn up on time what did we use to do? Sit down until eventually they turned up? How long would you be willing to wait? an hour. 2 hours, all day? Seriously the mobile phone is an efficient time keeping, contacting device, life saving thingy that makes our life that much simplier...

my sweet phone was with me up until Friday evening, oh the memories of speaking into my phone, the memories of loudspeaker and messaging and the oh so brilliant ring tunes, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

alhamdullilah I have to say it could have been my head that some one stole or my feet god forbid, so alhamdullilah.

what's really annoying though is when I phoned my company to cancel the contract and lock the phone they told me I gotta pay 17 pounds for the new sim card and that they wont replace my phone, so I gotta either fork out more money for a new handset or use my old one which I have decided to use cause I cant be bothered with buying a new phone and besides I need my money for hajj..

I pray that whoever took my phone is feeling really guilty right now and that a fire breathing dragon burns their ears off and are never able to use any phone cause they have no ears to put the phone on.

I apologies to anyone who has tried to contact me this weekend and was not able to, just incase you didn't read the above MY PHONE WAS ABDUCTED FROM ME AND IS NOW BEING USED BY STRANGERS. My poor poor phone...

at this very moment in time I have no hope for humanity, to me the cup is half empty and not half full...

my phone will be functioning again inshallah this Tuesday when my sim arrives, I have to say it was kinda nice having a break from the continious ringing and messaging, other than that did I mention to you guys that MY PHONE WAS EVAPORATED FROM ITS VERY EXISTENCE?.

on a serious note, its not that bad alhamdullilah, on my way to London on saturday, I was reading the independent and the front page triggered how lucky I am, because it was about the atrocities in Gaza (Palestine) and the mass murder that's happening their, and I thought to myself mobile phone is the last thing on their minds right now, so ya Allah, Ya Karim, thank you for all you have given me and grant patience, strength and victory to the Palestinians.

People I have a stalker!!!!

want me to describe what he looks like?

well, he has 4 wheels, made up of metal and has a handle, yep you guessed it its an Asda trolley.

this morning I came into work and right opposite the front door was a trolley, just standing there grinning at me, how weird and how in the world did it get there, asda is a bit of a trek from my work place.

as soon as I saw it I kinda laughed and began to hum that scary music tune you know the one, from the first Halloween film, and I sear I'm sure I heard the wheels creaking to the tune.

just thought I would share my horrors with you...

I woke up this morning with the kind of mood where you wanna turn your back on the world and sleep but alas this was not to be the case for me, I had to wake up.

my mum announced that it was raining buckets outside so luckily I had my umbrella (my brothers hadn't taken it hostage yet), so with a face that looked like it needed more bed therapy, I walked out the house opened the umbrella and realised that there was something strangely wrong with it and it hit me, literally, my umbrella hit me, the world has gone mad, every thing is alive, objects are turning against their masters (I'm sure its a sign of qiyama).

ok so I'm exaggerating but come on I only have my imagination to entertain me, but it did hit me (the cause if your wondering is the wind, the weather that is not any other kind of wind so don't even go there) and not only that it looked like I was wearing the umbrella on my head because it wouldn't go past a certain point, it was jammed so the top of my head was touching the inside of the umbrella, I looked really pathetic I have to admit but I didn't care cause I wanted to sleep and instead I was facing jihad with an umbrella.

and to top it all off I was getting splashed by cars, now I'm going to start ranting about this cause every time it rains here in Manchester, and it rains most of the time, I nearly always get soaked to the bone because of careless drivers, it makes me angry to the extent that if I had the ability to breath out fire I would, but luckily for some I don't have that gift.

seriously though why do some drivers drive so close to the curb, I'm a walker, I walk every where, and I mind my own business in my own world thinking of sleeping etc walking on the pavement because the pavement is for us humans of the leg variety not the wheel variety (unless its a wheel chair then that's fine) when all of a sudden a car will come round the corner, speeding can I add, too close to the curb and splash me, it happened 3 times today. Now when i see a big puddle ahead of me I pick up my skirt and kinda do a mission impossible run across the pavement hoping and praying that a car doesn't appear.

my reaction when I get splashed is I have to admit funny but at the time its not, I completely forget myself and start shouting and waving my arms at the offending car that dared to splash me, but that never seems to make them stop and apologies to me, I'm sure some of them do it on purpose. There is a fine if caught, but I never get the time to look at the registration number and how am I gonna prove it, it's pointless.

the punishment should be to put the driver in a room and continuously splash them with water for a period of 3 days, now that would teach them a lesson.

some of the drivers bless them are extremely considerate and are careful of splashing us humble walkers, so a big thank you for your efforts. For those who are not then if god ever gave me the ability to breath out fire then I will chase you round and round in circles (funny to watch).

I need a new umbrella.....

The story of a shoe

have you ever walked somewhere and then noticed a random shoe just laying there?

we all know that shoes come in pairs, but abandoned shoes are always alone, separated from its sister or brother depending on whether the shoe is feminine or masculine. its really weird, I always see this in my walking adventures, I seem to notice random suicidal shoes ever where I go and I always wonder what happened to the other shoe and more importantly what happened to the owner?

some of the shoes are old mouldy, dirty, holey shoes that deserve the bin but some of the shoes that I come across (I know I'm sounding like someone who goes out specifically to find these shoes, I don't by the way) look brand new or at least not bin worthy. It really makes me ponder about its history and my imagination can some times get hold of me and I start making life stories up of the owners, but what really puzzles me is the singular aspect of the shoe, does that mean people are walking around with a shoeless foot? or are they wearing different pairs of shoes?

I know I'm looking into this to much but this has been going on for years and I want the mystery solved? One of my friends was saying that its usually a Friday night or sat night thing where people get drunk out of their minds and then stagger home and end up loosing a shoe, that kinda makes sense, but if I was that person (god forbid) the next day I would walk past my lonely shoe, spot it and think hold on a second that's my shoe, I was looking all over the place for it, pick it up and take it to be re-united again, isn't that what anyone would do?

please help me in solving the mystery of the abandoned shoe......

TROLLEY RANT

I walk to work every morning and every morning I pass Asda, and every morning I have to dodge the shopping trolleys that SOME CERTAIN INDIVIDUALS who cant be bothered carrying there shopping so end up STEALING the shopping trolleys, but what they fail to realise is that most super markets have a clever system that when you take the trolley out of a designated area it automatically locks so it's useless trying to push it cause the wheels wont move.

I have seen people who refuse to give up and drag the trolley, I remember there was ne guy who ended up picking the trolley which was stupid really cause the trolley is heavier than the shopping bags duh!!!!

people eventually give up and what happens is they abandon the trolleys in all sorts of places, middle of the road, pavements, parks, you name the place and I guarantee you that a trolley or a ghost of a trolley has been there.

its such a health hazard, the amount of times that I have moved a trolley of the road so as cars don't crash into them is countless. Eventually some one from Asda will come over and fix the problem, I'm sure they have a committee for the trolley situation where they have annual meetings and conferences lol.

if any one reading this is the culprit who abducts trolleys and put the trolley life and others at risk then STOP now, cause it doing my head in, and its not fair and not considerate on your part and besides imagine if the trolleys had a family, you will be the cause of separation from the trolley family and the kids would be traumatized for the rest of there trolley lives.

think about it....

its Wednesday morning, I'm at work, for some reason I'm tired, don't you just hate that feeling, when your cozy in bed and really comfortable, not hot not cold just right, and then the blasted alarm goes off, not fair..

well as usual I can never predict what's going to happen at work, it's always an adventure with patients as well as colleagues. There are diffenrent categories of patients, and its always interesting to see them unfold right infront of my very eyes.

there is one particular patient who comes in every week, he's an elderly gentleman, he books an appointment for every wensday at 9:30am, and every wednesday morning when I open up at 8:45 am, I find him waiting for me. He takes a big gulp of air, like he's about to dive under water, and then began his usual stories:

man: hello, I'm sorry bit I wont be able to see the doctor, because my sister in law isn't feeling well and I have to go and visit her.

ever Wednesday its the same, but each excuse varies, sometimes it's his sister in law, other times its his brother, sometimes he has appointments, but without fail he cancels his appointment and books for the following week, as of yet he has not seen the doctor even though he had been registered for years, how amazing is that?

another patient gets really excited when he comes to the Surgery and starts hopping from one foot to the other, really cute actually, cute in that his actions are cute not that he is if you catch my drift.

there is another patient who cries buckets whenever she comes in to see the doctor because she is convinced she is going to be told that she has a life threatening disease and that she will have 2 seconds to live, and each time she goes in she is told that she is amazingly healthy.

there are those who think an emergency appointment is when you get a paper cut whilst reading, or when you get a spot on your face and cant face to see the world or in there case the world seeing them lol.

then there are the ones who come 45 monutes late for there appointments and still expect to be seen, yeh right, there was one time an Iraqi patient was late over an hour, and when I informed him that it's gonna be impossible and that he will have to re-schedule his appointment, he grunts and grumbles, opens his wallet and takes out a 20 pound note and says 'is this what you want, fine take it', and starts to force my hand open !!!!!!

after the initial shock of being bribed in Britain lol, I had to stop myself from laughing, cause he looked to serious and would have thumped me one if I had laughed, so I discreetly took him to the side and informed him that things don't work that way here and if anything he could get into serious trouble if he was caught, to which he said 'do you want more is that it?, unbelievable, no I told him and it took me ages to convince him that I don't want his money and that he would have to abide by the policies, to which he grudgingly accepted.

its a different world at my work, and it always manages to enterain me, so I thought I would share my time at work with you.

any characters at your work place?

It's funny how you find yourself talking to random strangers who you have never seen before, or lets say its the other way round random strangers start conversations with you when you had no intention what so ever to say anything to them, it always seems to happen.

take Wednesday for instance, I was at the dressing clinic with my bro and mother, we where sat in the reception area waiting for our turn, I noticed that there was an Asian man sat opposite us staring at us, I turned around to my mum and whispered 'what's his problem, he keeps looking at us' my mum just told me to ignore him, but that's one thing I cant do, I cant stand people who stare it bugs the living day lights out of me and it will really annoy me until I either get up and leave or that person leaves or a fight starts, in this case I started a staring match with him.

whilst the staring match was happening he automatically takes out a can of lager out of a plastic bag and proceeds to drink as if trying to tell me 'this is easy for me, I do this all the time' (apparently its his second can, are you even allowed to drink in clinics?) my eyes began to water so I had to blink, my blinking was the opportunity for him to speak, I guess he thought I winked at him, sigh.... The dude had one hell of a voice on him, we where just a few centimeters away from him yet we could have been miles and would have heard him clearly.

the conversation went something like this:

man: when did you celebrate eid? Yesterday or the day before yesterday?

mum: Monday,we celebrated eid on Monday.

man: oh, you celebrated with Al-Jazeerah? (lol, oh yeh the news channel, course!!!!)

mum: sorry

me: mama just ignore him..

mama: no miskeen (poor thing), we followed Saudi

man: oh you from Saudi Arabia?

mama: no where not

man: where you from if you don't mind me asking

me: earth..

mama: Libya

man: oh wow, ana 3isht fee misrata 7 sineen (tanslation: oh wow I lived in misrata -a city around 2 hours away from Tripoli- for 7 years)

me: oh my god, the dude speaks Arabic

mama: mashallah, really, we are originally from misrata.

bro: laughing into his jacket

man: I am originally from Pakistan, but my baba and mama traveled every where for work, my baba he was a eye doctor, you know kind fahad from Saudi Arabia?

mama: yes yes

man: baba operated on him

mama: ok mashallah

man: ana kunt atakalim al 3arabi mithl al boulboul (translation- I used to be able to talk Arabic like a hoopoe bird)

mama: oh what happened?

man: I have no Arabs to talk to so I lost most of it

mama: that's a shame, but still mshallah your Arabic is good

man: not any more love (then with a horrified look on his face started to apologies) sorry, sorry not love I mean sister

me: lol

mama: its ok

man: ok back to my life story, I am originally from Pakistan but we lived on the outskirts of Afghanistan, and when the Russians where attacking Afghanistan I had to defend it because I love Afghanistan, it was terrible sister, baba mat, mama mat, zawjatee mat (translation- mum died, dad died, my wife died)

mama: ina lila wa ina ilayhee rajee300n (translation- to Allah we belong and to him is our return)

man: yes, I got chemical burnt on both my legs, and I salute this country (he then stands up and does a saluting sign with his hand and then sits down again)

man: the government of this country took me in (wow that would have been Thatcher, nice of her to take him in to 10 downing street), I salute them, they pay more than a grand a month for my health care, my country would have left me to die, probably would have killed me to get me out the way, so I salute this country.

then the national anthem went off and we all stood up and sang - actually that bit didn't happen.

instead the man got up walked towards us lifted his leg up and my mum bless her nearly fainted from the sight, all his bandages had fallen around his ankles and where his leg was supposed to be was gunk, half of the leg wasn't there, we could actually see the bone. My mum covered her mouth and was saying:

mama: nasul Allah al 3afwah wal 3afeeyah (translation - iask Allah for good health)

man: I wont show you my other leg, you will be sick for the next week if I do, I will save you from this.

mama: thank you, subhannallah how this happen?

man: war sister, this is a cause of war, I have to many problems in my life, I am Muslim and people always judge me and look down on me cause I drink alcohol, but alcohol is one thing and having faith in my heart is another thing, they are separate things, the alcohol makes me forget and nulls the pain of life for me.

mama: Allah yihdeek inshallah (translation - may Allah guide you)

man: yes sister. so what happened to your son?

mama: fireworks brother, some one threw on at him

man: oh, if I could I will take his pain, he is only young, I have to much pain,a little more pain wont harm me.

how sweet was that? Seriously when he said that it wasn't fake, it was genuine, subhanallah.

mama: oh thanks you brother you are kind

man: no no

he then points at me at me and says: is he your daughter

mam: yes, she's my eldest

man: is she married?

me: mumbling hello im here, stop talking like im invisable

mama: knudging me, no she is not

man: oh so when you going to send her off to get married?

bro: nearly falls off his chair laughing

me: is this man for real?

mama: sorry?

man: you do arranged marriage?

my mum at this point starts to explain to him the difference between arranged marriages and forced marriages, can I point out that we had an audience in the room, people where on the edge of there seats listening to us. After the mini lecture the man turns around and says:

man: is your son married?

now it was my turn to fall off the chair laughing, my brother shouts out of course not I'm only 17.

and before he could ask if my mum was married, lol, he got called in to the nurses room, leaving us behind waiting for our turn.

how weird is that? it truly is amazing the kind of people we meet in our lives, really does make it that much more interesting....

A big Eid Mubarak to every one

I pray from the bottom of my heart that you all enjoyed your eid and that Allah swt gives you the opportunity to witness many more wonderful Ramadans and Eids (Ameen).

I'm missing Ramadan already, I absolutely loved Ramadan this year, it really was special, it always is subhannallah but this year it was something else, I managed to spend many iftars with my family for one, something that I haven't done in a long time so that was great, I managed to cook as well and learnt a couple of new dishes which was sheer bliss for my mother bless her and I spent many a wonderful time with my sisters in Islam which was great and I cherish every moment.

Eid came so soon, its so difficult to believe that already the first day has ended and that 30 days of Ramadan just flew by, I pray that we will continue what we learnt from Ramadan and that we have come out of Ramadan much better individuals amen.

woke up bright and early today to the sound of my younger brother rushing down the stairs shouting 'its eid, its eid', I swear I miss that feeling that children have for eid, I remember I used to not sleep a wink in anticipation for eid day, and I would take my eid clothes out from the cupboard at least 10 times to look at it, ah the memories, then you grow up and things don't seem as exciting as they used to be, and eid clothes are no longer a bother, but I still love the feeling of unity and togetherness and that at least for the next couple of days people will try to be civil to one another.

by half past eight we where out of the house on our way to the Muslim Youth Foundation to pray eid prayer, I walked into the sisters section and wow it was packed, it was difficult finding a place to sit but eventually I did and the prayer started, afterwards whilst listening to the khutbah I looked around me and found one of the reasons why I love Britain so much, for the sheer fact that all around me where so many different colours, faces, cultures, races etc.. it was beautiful seriously, and most people had there traditional gear on, so I was sat next to a lovely Nigerian sister on my right and on my left was a Malaysian sister, next to her was an Arab sister and next to her was a revert, and the list can go on and on, its so cool, literally the colors of Islam.

we headed home, on the way back my dad did the takbirat al eid, and looking out the window I saw so many people leaving the mosques, all dressed smartly, smiling, saying salam to one another, hugging each other.

at home we had breakfast, now usually us libyans would have to have 3aseeda, a traditional dish made from flour, difficult to describe, this is what is looks like, I love it, its tradition to have it on the morning of eid, we didn't instead we had eggs, cheese etc, I miss 3aseeda sniff sniff...

at around 12 we got a call from the hospital informing us that my brother ha an appointment at 1:30 that day at the burn clinic. so of we went, my youngest brother grumbling on about 'what kind of eid is this, blah blah blah' poor thing was bored out of his mind, but it wasn't to bad alhamdullilah because when the consultant looked at the burn, she announced that he will not need an plastic surgery but instead content dressing, creaming, and a dose of physiotherapy as well.

my mum started to cry form happiness bless her and then hugged the consultant lol.

came home after that and attended a Libyan event, it was nice because we managed to say all our eid mubraks in one room to every one, usual sweets where handed out and all the teenage girls parading there eid clothes cute, and the ladies with there you've lost weight, you've gained weight business, rolls eyes, always the same lines lol.

we kissed our way out of there, I swear to say bye takes at least half an hour, a clever man will realize this so when he says 'haya let's go home' he knows he should allow for at least 30 - 45 minutes of preparation.

came home, my parents where feeling tired so they rested there eyes whilst me and my younger brother had a game of mortal combat on his play station and can I just point out to every one that I beat him 4 times, woooohoooo, he had his excuses but they where weak excuses, he wouldn't admit that I was the champion of the house.

my parents had had there 40 winks and it was time to get ready for visiting a lovely family that we always go to on eid day to have dinner with, and it's where I continuously embarrass myself with my clumsiness.

I had been in my boots all day that I completely forgot that my right sock had a hole where the big toe is, so my toe was peeking out and at first I was kinda good at disguising this by hiding it underneath my long skirt, but towards the middle of the evening I forgot and my toe made an appearance, my mum would look at me then mouth 'your toe' to which I would hurriedly hide it, lol.

then to make matters worse for me, when it was time to get the food, I got up to help bring in the food and stuff, at first I was doing well, bringing in the different plate and what not, but then it was time for me to bring in the harisa (chilli paste) which was in a nice metal like dish, we where eating off the floor so our host had spread the sheet on the floor and I bent down to put the harisa on the floor when accidently I dropped it, it would have been ok if it had just spoilt the sheet but NO, that's not how things work for me, instead it splattered all over the sheet, walls, seating and the people, my god I was so embarrassed and all I could do was cover my mouth, laugh hysterically and say 'oh my god, oh my god, I'm so sorry, so sorry, I always do this'

my mum just sat there and then burst into laughter, saying 'white African how could you, oh no, she always does this' and then proceeded to tell stories of the many times my clumsiness had embarrassed me and her, this was to be added to the list.

what a perfect end lol....

prayers, contemplation and fire works

its amazing how fast Ramadan is leaving us, its like when a wonderful guest comes to stay with you and just as you get used to the guest and love having the guest with you, the guest has to leave.

on wednesday night it was the 27th night, and most people are of the opinion that laylatul qadr is most probably on this night so the mosques are generally packed out with worshippers, I decided to go to good old Muslim Youth Foundation with some friends and hamdullilah the numbers where just right, not many people, enough to create a lovely atmosphere.

it was such a lovely night walahi, starting from tarawih, then reminders and tahajud, snacks, dua suhur together and the fajir and mathurat after fajir, the feeling that takes over you is one of serenity and calm and you feel exhilarated and enthusiastic for the coming months and a belief that you can become a better person inshallah and that this year you will stick to the resolutions you make.

if only we had layalatul qadr every night, I guess we have to constantly remind ourselves.

around 3:30 am whilst we where praying, my dads phone kept ringing and continued to do so until he finished and was able to answer the phone, it was funny really cause he was leading the prayers and the sound of the message (his ring tone) going off in the background, very surreal..

anyway the caller was my brother, he was calling from hospital because my middle brother was coming home from the mosque after maghreb prayers, walking through the alleyway when some idiot threw a firework at him which exploded on his hand, burning him quite badly. He comes home with a red hand announcing to every one what had happened to him, opens the tap and sticks his hand under the cold water.

every so often my mum would ask him how his hand was, and he would reply 'ok, not bad, I think its going to be ok inshallah'.

so my mum and dad left and came to the mosque thinking that it was a slight burn and that keeping it cool would be fine. Turns out it's a chemical burn so it started to get really painful and blisters appearing and what not, poor thing couldn't stand the apin any longer so my brother to him to the hospital a&e, he wrapped a cloth soaked in cold water around his hand and that's how my mum and dad found him at hospital waiting to be seen.

eventually some one saw him and wrapped his hand in bandages and told him that he has a bad chemical burn and will need plastic surgery but no surgeons are available and he will have to come in after 3 days, poor thing.

my brother is left handed and it was his left hand that was burnt, so college is going to be an issue now.

how annoying is that, apparently its all the rage for stupid kids to get hold of fireworks, light them up and release them on random people, my brother being one of them, they love targeting old people especially, sick individuals, they really need to be sorted out, my brother didn't see who did it, but he will find out eventually because these idiots have a way of bragging about their acts.

what gets me is the idiot who sells these underage kids these fireworks, or the person who will buy it for them, there just as bad, they are putting peoples lives at risk by selling it to the dysfunctional members of our society who really should be sectioned under the mental health act.

and its ages till bon fire night nights, so why start selling them now? Its all about money, pathetic really.

what a way to end the night, hamdullilah it wasn't his eye or his life god forbid...

i found this article on a site called http://www.crescentandcross.com and i was really impressed by this article, and it brought a smile to my face reading this because with all this madness happening recently its nice to know that others can recognise what we as muslims woman are all about.

To My Muslim Sisters

Between the Israeli assault on Lebanon and the Zionist “war on terror,” the Muslim world is now center stage in every American home. I see the carnage, death and destruction that have befallen Lebanon, but I also see something else: I see you. I can’t help but notice that almost every woman I see is carrying a baby or has children around her. I see that though they are dressed modestly, their beauty still shines through. But it’s not just outer beauty that I notice. I also notice that I feel something strange inside me: I feel envy. I feel terrible for the horrible experiences and war crimes that the Lebanese people have suffered, being targeted by our common enemy. But I can’t help but admire your strength, your beauty, your modesty, and most of all, your happiness. Yes, it’s strange, but it occurred to me that even under constant bombardment, you still seemed happier than we are, because you were still living the natural lives of women. The way women have always lived since the beginning of time. It used to be that way in the West until the 1960s, when we were bombarded by the same enemy. Only we were not bombarded with actual munitions, but with subtle trickery and moral corruption.

They bombarded us Americans from Hollywood, instead of from fighter jets or with our own American-made tanks. They would like to bomb you in this way too, after they’ve finished bombing the infrastructure of your countries. I do not want this to happen to you. You will feel degraded, just like we do. You can avoid this kind of bombing if you will kindly listen to those of us who have already suffered serious casualties from their evil influence. Because everything you see coming out of Hollywood is a pack of lies, a distortion of reality, smoke and mirrors. They present casual sex as harmless recreation because they aim to destroy the moral fabric of the societies into which they beam their poisonous programming. I beg you not to drink their poison. There is no antidote for it once you have consumed it. You may recover partially, but you will never be the same. Better to avoid the poison altogether than to try to heal from the damage it causes.

They will try to tempt you with their titillating movies and music videos, falsely portraying us American women as happy and satisfied, proud of dressing like prostitutes, and content without families. Most of us are not happy, trust me. Millions of us are on anti-depressant medication, hate our jobs, and cry at night over the men who told us they loved us, then greedily used us and walked away. They would like to destroy your families and convince you to have fewer children. They do this by presenting marriage as a form of slavery, motherhood as a curse, and being modest and pure as old-fashioned. They want you to cheapen yourself and lose your faith. They are like the Serpent tempting Eve with the apple. Don’t bite.

I see you as precious gems, pure gold, or the “pearl of great value” spoken of in the Bible (Matthew 13: 45). All women are pearls of great value, but some of us have been deceived into doubting the value of our purity. Jesus said: “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you” (Matthew 7: 6). Our pearls are priceless, but they convince us that they’re cheap. But trust me; there is no substitute for being able to look in the mirror and seeing purity, innocence and self-respect staring back at you. The fashions coming out of the Western sewer are designed to make you believe that your most valuable asset is your sexuality. But your beautiful dresses and veils are actually sexier than any Western fashion, because they cloak you in mystery and show self-respect and confidence. A woman’s sexuality should be guarded from unworthy eyes, since it should be your gift to the man who loves and respects you enough to marry you. And since your men are still manly warriors, they deserve no less than your best. Our men don’t even want purity anymore. They don’t recognize the pearl of great value, opting for the flashy rhinestone instead. Only to leave her too.

Your most valuable assets are your inner beauty, your innocence, and everything that makes you who you are. But I notice that some Muslim women push the limit and try to be as Western as possible, even while wearing a veil (with some of their hair showing). Why imitate women who already regret, or will soon regret, their lost virtue? There is no compensation for that loss. You are flawless diamonds. Don’t let them trick you into becoming rhinestones. Because everything you see in the fashion magazines and on Western television is a lie. It is Satan’s trap. It is fool’s gold.

I’ll let you in on a little secret, just in case you’re curious: pre-marital sex is not even that great. We gave our bodies to the men we were in love with, believing that that was the way to make them love us and want to marry us. Just as we had seen on television growing up. But without the security of marriage and the sure knowledge that he will always stay with us, it’s not even enjoyable! That’s the irony. It was just a waste. It leaves you in tears. Speaking as one woman to another, I believe that you understand that already. Because only a woman can truly understand what’s in another woman’s heart. We really are all alike. Our race, religion or nationalities do not matter. A woman’s heart is the same everywhere. We love. That’s what we do best. We nurture our families and give comfort and strength to the men we love. But we American women have been fooled into believing that we are happiest having careers, our own homes in which to live alone, and freedom to give our love away to whomever we choose. That is not freedom. And that is not love. Only in the safe haven of marriage can a woman’s body and heart be safe to love. Don’t settle for anything less. It’s not worth it. You won’t even like it and you’ll like yourself even less afterwards. Then he’ll leave you.

Sin never pays. It always cheats you. Even though I have reclaimed my honor, there’s still no substitute for having never been dishonored in the first place. We Western women have been brainwashed into thinking that you Muslim women are oppressed. But truly, we are the ones who are oppressed; slaves to fashions that degrade us, obsessed with our weight, begging for love from men who do not want to grow up. Deep down inside, we know that we have been cheated. We secretly admire and envy you, although some of us will not admit it. Please do not look down on us or think that we like things the way they are. It’s not our fault. Most of us did not have fathers to protect us when we were young because our families have been destroyed. You know who is behind this plot. Don’t be fooled, my sisters. Don’t let them get you too. Stay innocent and pure. We Christian women need to see what life is really supposed to be like for women. We need you to set the example for us, because we are lost. Hold onto your purity. Remember: you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. So guard your “toothpaste” carefully!
I hope you receive this advice in the spirit in which it is intended: the spirit of friendship, respect, and admiration. From your Christian sister – with love.
© 2006+ Joanna Francis

nice article, its lovley to know that in these times one can bond with other faiths....

as a muslim woman i am truly free, islam has liberated me and if you have a problem with this, with my veil then the problem is really your problem and not mine, and as all problems need to be resolved i advice you to resolve your problems and kindly leave me and my veil be.....

reminder

i love this nasheed and video, it's a reminder especially cause we easily get absorbed by our daily life and rituals that we can easily get absorbed and forget our place here on earth, a journey that we need to keep track on.

may allah forever guide us.

Recently as part of the junk mail that comes in the daily post at home as well at work, a certain person has decided to announce his business to the world, now he is not the first nor I'm sure will he be the last, I personally do not know him, but what I'm 100% certain is that he is a fraud as well as a liar.

I'm sure you all have had his advert in your post or some thing similar, the one I got a couple of days ago sounds like this:

Mr El Hadj - Clairvoyant, Spiritual Healer, World Renowned

Mr. El Hadj, medium, psychic, spiritualist world renowned for accurate revelations in past, present & future. He inherited the power from his grandparents. This is a gift passed on from generation to generation. He will help solve your problems in relationships, business, stock market, work, finance, exams, court cases etc.., bring your loved one back, health related problems that cant be identified & sexual impotency. Protect yourself and your family from bad spirits & bad luck these and many other problems

guaranteed results within 7 days.

on the side of the card it says: pay after results.

well, like I said I'm certain you have come across such nonsense because this type of stuff has been posted to many homes in Britain for years now.

I never really took any interest in it, I kinda just read it, laughed and threw it away, but a couple of days ago, for some reason I became curious, so I thought I would call this man obviously pretending to be some one else and ask him a couple of questions to see what he had to say for himself, the conversation went something like this:

me: hello, can I speak to Mr el hadj please? (I had put on a strong mancunian accent)

man: hello, who is this:

me: um my name is bianca, is Mr el hadj there?

man: your ring first time?

me: yeh that's rights

man: ok hold second please (had a strong African accent)

some one shouting in the back ground, eventually another man comes on the line

man: hello

me: hello again, is that Mr el hadj?

man: um yes, I'm el hadj, who speak please?

me: yeh hi Mr elhadj I'm Bianca, I got your business card in the post today and thought I would call you

man: hello Bianca how can I assist you (how polite)

me: well I was wondering if you could help me out?

man: yes of course, what is your problem

me: well, could you please first tell me what methods it is you use to help people, I'm really interested in this sort of stuff and you sound fascinating to me

man: yes, I have natural power

me: wow

man: thank you, also I meditate and I speak to jinn, you know magical creatures, I use quran, holy book, I can read palms and tell you future, my powers are strong and I can help with any problem.

me: wow sounds great Mr hadj, I was wondering, can you communicate with the dead? you know spirits and ghosts and stuff?

man: yes yes, no problem

me: really, that's great, its just that I have some loved ones who died and you know Mr hadj, some times I can feel them, like there watching me and protecting me, does that sound silly Mr hadj?

man: no no, you are correct

me: really? oh that makes all the difference to me Mr hadj, I swear I thought I was going mad, so could you make contact with me family then, you know get them to speak to me from the other side

man: yes yes, no problem,

me: oh brilliant, so Mr hadj what's your prices like

man: well you don't pay anything until you get results (just like his card said)

me: oh really, you that confident are you?

man: yes mam 100% success rate

me: oh ok, so no charge

man: yes but you know there is a standard 30 pounds charge for reading palms

me: oh but I don't want my future told

man: no its a must so we can do what you want

me: oh in tha case fine, 30 pounds not including the cost of the other stuff

man: yep

me: ok Mr elhadj I do have a little problem though, it's very difficult to read my hands, my friend tried once and couldn't, and I once went to a fortune teller in a circus and she couldn't, apparently my hands are made different, so could you read my feet instead?

man: sorry?

me: could you read my feet instead of my hands?

man: feet??? (at which point I was really trying not to laugh)

me: yes Mr hadj

man: yes yes, ok, no problem, I read feet or anything else

me: no just feet will do thank you

man: ok, no problem

me: ok then, what I will do Mr hadj is think it over and then call you back

man: you make no appointment

me: yeh I'm going to think about it and let you know, thanks Mr el hadj

man: ok, bye

me: bye

and that was that, it just confirmed to me that he is a fraud, and it annoys me that they actually do get suckers out there who fall for there tricks.

whets really bad is the fact that he uses Islam as a means of confirming his POWERS, is what he does allowed? a watch body should look into this and put an end to it.

I'm thinking of calling him again and just annoying him, seriously if any one is contemplating contacting him to solve there problems, DON'T, you will only come back moneyless and problem unsolved.

in the jungle

hana sis, i dedicate this to u, yo have sung it to me so many times that i interupts my dreams as well lol, enjoy girly...

Its official I have no blood in me.

for the last couple of days I have been feeling dizzy, tired and nauseas, classic symptoms that my anemia is playing up, I was prescribed iron tablets like months ago but never really took them cause they make me feel sick, so the doctor decided to put me on liquid iron which I took one table spoon of and instantly spat out, even though it was supposed to be caramel flavour, it tasted more like blood yuk!

I swear it's not nice, so I haven't been taking my medication, what I have been trying to do is eat red meats and raisins and what not, so its been ok up until Ramadan that is, its all coming back to me ( I feel I should break into celine dion).

so yesterday I thought I would have a blood test to see the iron levels, and I knew this was going to be an issue, it always is whenever I need a blood test, see what it is, no matter how deep the needle goes in and it doesn't matter where it goes in, the blood just refuses to come out, it protests and complains and will not budge not even an inch, so the result is you get one very bruised white African.

just forget about even trying to get blood out of my arms, aint gonna happen people, even when I was in hospital for like a week they tried and couldn't, so then you move down to my wrists, trying to get blood from there is not easy and not pain free, but it doesn't always work ask ever the idealist she has been there, done that and bought the tea shirt but she managed to take blood out of me so girl you are good mashallah.

I got two bruises yesterday on my hands where the needles went in and the result was no blood sniff sniff.

today I thought lets try again, so I put my hand under the hot water tap for 5 minutes trying to encourage the veins to pop out, apparently this is a trick nurses use for patients who have no veins ahem ahem, so 5 minutes later, I'm sat in the nurses room and have filled 2 bottles worth of my non existing blood TAKBIR!!!!

wow it gushed out like there was no tomorrow, finally.

so yeh this has been my excitement for the past 2 days,

Radio Ramadan 1

well yesterday I did my first show on the radio for this Ramadan and boy did it get heated.

nm, md and the revert came with me and so I knew that it was going to be an exciting and different show and seriously it was.

on Tuesday I had invited md to come on to the show and she agreed bless her and I asked her advice for a topic, instantly she said ' white African talk about the mosque issue'

of course, duh I should have realised, its a hot topic at the moment amongst my circle of friends because the mosque in our area where the majority of my friends live and where funnily enough is right behind my back garden, all I have to do is come out of the back gate and hey presto I'm at the mosque premises, any way this mosque does not allow sisters to pray, it would have been so convenient for us to pray tarawih prayers in our local mosque instead of having to treck all the way to town and risk our SAFETY (a word that kept cropping up on the radio).

just before Ramadan, md and the revert decided to pay our local mosque a visit and ask them politely if they would allow sisters to pray in the mosque, they where speaking to somebody concerning this when an older man pushed in and told them that THEY believe that woman have to pray at home and that's final, how rude!!!

well we will not stay quite about this and our voices will be heard, letters will be sent to the mosque, if that is ignored then we will petition the area as well as all Muslims in Manchester and if that does not work then protest out side the mosque will be the next step until we are given our rights as Muslim woman, what really saddens me is that the prophet pbuh did not prevent Muslim woman from praying in the mosque, so where did this mentality of preventing woman form the mosque come from? its not an Islamic mentality.

and this is why it was decided to talk about this issue on the radio, to raise awareness, well we had all met at Sanam restaraunt where MMU isoc where having there freshers iftar, we had just opened our fast and then had to dash away cause and bless the mmu committee they wouldn't let us leave without a take away of the dinner, which was delicious mashallah.

we got to the radio about 5 minutes late and started straight off, at the start it was a discussion between ourselves until the first caller called in, it was man and he was anti-woman praying in mosques, he kept asking us what was the need in us wanting to pray in a mosque, he understood our want but he wanted to know the need, want, need what difference does it make, the point us I want to pray tarawh or any of my fard prayers in a mosque.

what kept being mentioned was the hadith of the prophet pbuh which was that it is more rewarding for a woman to pray at home, fine I understand that but what the callers failed to mention was the hadith of the prophet where he (saw) said 'do not prevent woman from going to the mosque', but even though we mentioned this hadith over and over again some of the callers still turned a blind eye to it, frustrating or what.

one of the callers said that we don't have to go to the mosque any more because many mosques have a walki talky system so we can follow the imam from the comfort of our very homes and we do not need to risk our safety by leaving the house to walk to the mosque, because we all know that thousands of men are waiting round the corner ready to attack us, my god what planet are some people from????

it didn't help that 2 woman called in to the show in support of this mans statements, one of them would only speak in Arabic even though majority of listeners are English speakers, so I ha to play that role of translator, she called in to say that we should not step one foot into the mosque, that if I was looking for reward then I would follow the hadith of the prophet that says there is more reward in praying at home, she then moved on to say that it was dangerous for a woman to walk in the streets to go to the mosque, to which I repeatedly asked her whether she went shopping to which she would not answer my questions, so basically its ok to go shopping and what not because that's not dangerous, but to go to the mosque is????


she continued to say that we must accept that we are the weaker sex, that we are going against what god said - excuse me, granted we are created differenly physically but we are equal in the eyes of god in term of worship ibadah, but she still wouldn't accept this point. She then ended her conversation by saying that it is the duty of the maherm in our family to drop us of and pick up us from anywhere including going to uni, and that they should accompany us every where, yeh like they have nothing better to do, subhannallah.

we had another classic caller with a very strong scouser accent, bless her this lady did not listen to a single word we said, she rang accusing us of many thing we supposedly said when in fact such words did not even leave our mouths, pathetic really, she rang saying that she is sick and tired of these modern Muslims who come on the radio blah blah blah, the funny thing is that we are only asking for our god given rights so by asking for this we have been labeled 'modern Muslims' whatever, if following the prophet in the correct manner means being labeled modern so be it, bring it on I say.

she accused us of being feminists, sheeeeeech just because we want to pray in the mosque we have now been labeled as bra burning, armpit hair growing feminsists, see my point when I said she did not listen to us.

she said that we kept using the word liberated, walahi that word was not uttered from any of our mouths, I told her that the only liberation I want is to liberate my self as a Muslim from the fire of hell, to which she shouted 'my god, are you saying that if us Muslim woman don't pray in the mosque then we will be going to hell'

now does that sound like what I said, duh, NO, I was talking generally but it was pointless she refused to listen to any of us and continued to call us feminists, ok then...

we did have 2 supportive callers, one from a brother and another from a sister, so that was nice but to be honest I was expecting more calls of support but I guess like nm said, all our supporters are busy praying tarawih in mosques.

we ended the show with one more caller who I suspect was a previous caller but putting on a very strong Asian accent, he started by shouting 'HAAAARAAAAAAAAAAM' down the phone, 'it is HARAM for a woman to pray in the mosque' he then started to go on about how sisters these days wear rainbow coloured scarfs and wear d&g perfume, ??????????? and that such sisters should not be allowed into the mosques until they learn to dress appropriately and that includes niqab, and md bless her mentioned to him that there are difference of opinion concerning niqab but again it fell to deaf ears, he did big up Somali sisters by saying that they are good examples of how a Muslim woman should dress, which brought smiles to md and nm.

its funny but at the same time sad, you know when you reach a point of either laughing or crying, we chose to laugh yesterday but it's a serious issue and it really makes me sad to think that sisters are prevented from going to the mosque, its like the revert said, if it wasn't for the mosque that she attened she would never have reverted,

any brothers out there who are advocates of this ban woman from the mosque policy, please give us your reason because in all honesty no one has yet given us a reason, and don't bother mentioning the hadith that we get more reward praying at home, we know this alhamdullilah, the hadith does not say 'so don't you dare pray in the mosque' do not use the hadith in the wrong context.

I have rambled on enough, watch this space because it is not over yet...