member of the human race

being bi-lingual does not necessarily mean that a person can have a good grasp of all languages, because in my case, even though i speak English and Arabic, i don't actually have any other language skills, i'm thinking of learning either Turkish or Chinese but i haven't decided yet.

the reason i have brought up this topic is because i found myself in stupid predicament at my local Asda.

my parents are performing urmah at this moment in time, my mother is a teacher in an Islamic school, and each year she is in charge of taking a group of girls on urmah in the Easter break, that means that i am looking after my brothers, every body say hooooray.

so on Tuesday i decided to cook spaghetti, i had finished work at 6, so i needed a fairly fast way of cooking spaghetti, i could have done makaroonah imbakbeekah, but i needed an even faster dish, so a bunch of spaghetti in a pan of boiling water with sauce on top, maximum 20 minutes cooking, that's the plan in my head.

the sauce obviously had to be pre-made so i made my way over to the sauce counter, there was a big selection, i was looking for the vegetarian option obviously, something with vegetables preferably.

each sauce i would pick up i would look at the ingredients in the back, and each time a certain word kept popping up, the word was Champignons, i recognised it as being a french word but i instantly thought it was alcohol so i kept putting them back, i then walked away in frustration, and whilst walking throughout the different aisles it occurred to me that it might not actually be champagne maybe it was french word for something else?

so i went back to the sauce counter, i took all the sauces i was looking at, sat on the floor and studied them (people where looking at me, but i was on a mission).

my research found that in the ingredients, next to the word mushroom in brackets was the word Champignons, ok that wasn't enough for me, it could have been alcoholic mushrooms for all i know, well it could have been!!

so i took out my mobile and looked at all my friends names who possible new some french, i found my friends younger sisters number who is studying french gcse, i rang her and asked her what the french word for mushroom was? she didn't know, so i told her that i would be having serious words with her french teacher who clearly does not know how to teach simple words like mushroom.

i then remembered my friend who speaks fluent french, i called her and she answered, i asked her what mushroom is in french and she said Champignons, and i laughed and explained to her why i had rang her, to which she called me an idiot!! in a jokey manner of course.

the funny thing was i didn't realise i had an audience looking and listening to my conversation, so by the time i got of the phone, one guy was cracking up with laughter beside me, shaking his head and generally making me feel like a fool.

so people champignons is not a drunk alcoholic mushroom, it is a mushroom...