recently i was asked to be the photographer at a friends wedding, she wanted me to take photos of her henna as well as the zafah (wedding).

i don't have the best of luck when it comes to my cameras, for some bizarre reason things keep happening to my cameras. my first camera was a Nikon, absolutely fantastic camera, my dad borrowed it when he went on holiday to Greece, it ended up in the wrong hands, i.e stolen from my dads back pack.

so of i went and bought another camera, a Fuji fine pix, my Bangladesh shots where made by that camera, in October my mum was heading of to Dubai and requested to borrow my camera, so i handed it over, 10 days later my mum is back safe and sound,as for my camera, well lets just say that it some how landed at the bottom of a fountain in one of Dubai's hotels ????????

my poor mother was traumatised so she bought me a camera as a replacement, a Sony, now I'm particular about my cameras, it takes me a while to buy one as i review it, check out the pros and cons, test it out etc... before finally buying it, i couldn't this time as my mum had made the choice for me, i smiled, took the camera and plugged it into the charger.

between October and now, the camera has been functioning okish, its not what i would have chosen but its functional, so of i headed to the henna, and began to take pictures of the future bride, just before they started the ritual that is henna, my camera went on strike and decided it wanted to commit suicide, thus preventing me from taking any more photos, and unbelievably not a single person in the room had a camera on them!!!! my camera is stuck to me like glue, you never know when it could come in handy.

so unfortunately i wasn't able to take any photos of the henna.

the wedding was 2 days later, i borrowed 2 cameras from friends and went to the wedding hall, the bride entered and i began to take snap shots of her, she was walking slowly to the sound of specific bridal entrance music, people where sat from both sides and she was walking amongst them on a white carpet, i was ahead taking snap shots from all angles, walking backwards, walking walking walking not realising there was a a huge vase with flowers directly behind me as part of the decoration.

no one warned me, what ended up happening was i fell backwards due to stumbling over the vase, the vase topples over, smashes to a thousands pieces, the flowers scatter everywhere, white african is on the floor, camera still in hand, the brides mother is looking horrified, every one is watching, pointing, whispering, my mother is hiding under the table, the bride isn't even aware that anythings happened lol.

i had 2 options either get up, run away and never be seen again in the Manchester community OR get up, smile and continue to take pic, i chose option 2, but i did have the courtesy to apologise to the mother of the bride who responded 'khadit sawha'.

so yeh again i fell, i swear the floor seems to have some sort of attraction for me as I'm constantly falling, although i have to say in my defense i was wearing a long abayah and had heels on.

isn't it so annoying when some one is in a mood and they instantly spoil your own mood because of the intense messed up mood of theres.

you could be having a perfectly fine day up until you sit with a person who is in a foul mood and there mood rubs onto you so by the end of the day you finding yourself being all grumpy due to some one elses mood, how messed up is that!!!

whats worse is when they wont talk about it, theres only so many times you can say: 'is every thing ok?' and when they say fine you just want to bash them over the head with an inflatable iron because clearly there lying because the the whole world and its dog knows that some thing is up.

then later you get accused of not giving a damn!!!! well excuse me, but when i asked you a zillion times whats up? you told me nothing, so it took it to mean that NOTHING was up...

NOOOOOOO im supposed to read between the lines, i didn't realise im supposed to be telepathic, see im one of those people who cant jamil (i dont even know what the english word for this is, but its basically when you go over the top with politeness and asking if a person is ok, help me out bloggers what is the english word for mujamalah?) i might ask a person 3 times but then i feel stupid for continuously asking, so i will just say 'im here if you need me for anything' and thus leaving the ball in there court.

but some people need to be asked a trillion times before they finally break the ice and confess whats eating them up,

you know what really gets me as well is when they admit somethings up but say 'its not you, its just that i have issues at the moment' ok fine we all have issues but the fact that you have chosen to be in my presence i.e met up with me, means that you want to change your mood, you want your mood up lifted, now i am going to try my best to achieve this but please for the love of god its a 2 way thing, help me out with at least a smile, a sort of laugh, but to fold your arms through out and sulk and not say 2 words in an hour is slightly pushing it, what do you want me to do jump up and down and dance the Copacabana?

human moods are such funny things, why do we have them?

i learnt something new today that i would like to share with the blogging world.

its probably the best advice you might receive today, cherish it you never know when it can come handy.

its common sense really...

basically....

if it has ever crossed your mind...

even for a milli second..

to wear high heels when its icy outside...

DON'T EVER DO IT.....

best advice i can give for today..

don't be a whitelibyanafrican this winter and wear heels,its sure to make you look a fool if you do ;0)

tomorrow will be arafat, this time last year i was with 5 million others performing hajj, i cant believe that a year has passed, subhannallah!!!

i feel a sense of sadness for not going this year, that may sound selfish but believe me once you have tasted hajj then your heart yearns to perform hajj each year.

usually I'm not a t.v watcher, i don't really care for it, Arabic or English channels, but this year each time i walk past the television and if there showing anything to do with hajj then i find myself staring at the screen, and i could stand there for half an hour absorbed with the scenes unfolding on t.v.

oh how i wish i was there.....

inshallah i intend to fast tomorrow.

so much has happened since i came back from hajj, time flies yet so much change can occur, i pray that Allah swt grants us all the chance to perform hajj.

eid mubarak to you all, may you have a blessed eid full of happiness and la7am mmmmmm.

the other day me and tawhida where walking towards the mosque in town having a general chit chat, we turned round the corner, when i noticed that one of the buildings was being renovated, the whole front of the building was purely window, ie glass, so we could see what was happening inside, the builders must have gone home but what they left behind, to me, was what being British is all about :))))

the good old cup of tea!!!

cant live without it, put the kettle on and you receive instant relaxation, i love it...

why oh why is it so hard to wake up in the morning?

the initial process of opening the eyes when the alarm goes of is agony to the eye lids, but whats worse is processing the thoughts to your legs to get them to get out of bed!!!

you begin by sending messages to the legs but half way through your mind decides it doesn't really want to get up so the end result is half the body hanging of the bed with the head still stuck on the pillow aaaaaah.

and why is it time flies by when you don't want it to, the 5 minute snooze is more like a 2 second snooze, one of the most annoying sounds to be heard is the sound of the alarm, pretending to ignore it doesn't work because it gets louder and louder until you have to get up and shut it up.

life would be more easier if getting up in the morning wasn't such a chore...

or if we functioned through our dreams, now that would be cool, sleeping yet dreaming that your wroking, kill 2 birds with one stone, hmmmm now which drug on the market gives this affect.....

why does the weekend fly past at a speed of a squirrel being catapulted into the air? why? and the week goes by slightly slower, but today is Thursday, tomorrow is Friday and the weekend begins again :))))

anyway the issues raised this past weekend was smoking

i was basically walking past a corner shop fiddling with my mp3, when i noticed some one was talking to me, i looked up to see a teenage girl, you know the look, huge hooped ear rings, geled down hair with a pony tail, track suite bottoms, etc...

i hadn't heard what she had said so i said 'excuse me'

to which she replied 'can you buy something for me?' waving a five pound note in my face.

'what would you like me to buy?' i said

'pack of 10 ciggs, please' with a look of desperation on her face.

to which i said 'fraid not, i wont do it'

she walked away upset but within 2 seconds had found another 'adult' to ask, and from the looks of things he didn't mind getting her what she wanted.

see things like this irritate me, the fact that certain so called adults will buy ciggs and alcohol to under aged 'children', with out a care in the world.

the shop keepers are sticking to the law (not all of them) but many adults wont blink an eye lid to buying these products to juveniles. its disgusting behaviour...

the lack of responsibility and the failure of being an example to the youngsters is seriously frightening, the fact that decent role models are quickly diminishing in our societies is a scary thing to ponder on.

role models is an extremely important element, as humans its natural to look up to some one, especially a person that you admire, but if the persons qualities are questionable then admiration can be a dangerous thing that can have drastic affects on others around.

i think next time i see an adult buying such things for children then defiantly i will report them..

I'm feeling better hamdullilah, thanks every one for your kind words and advice.

what i did was i grabbed my camera, put my headphones on and went for a long walk and eventually found myself in one of my fav parks.

i sat down, and gathered my thoughts together, i was alone in the park, and for a few seconds it felt like i was the only person in the world, niceeeeee :)

my eyes where looking around observing small things, concentrating on the nature that surrounded me, and eventually my eyes landed on a lonely tree, and a ray of light was hitting this tree from the top and it looked so beautiful, and for some reason it brought a smile to my face and a sense of relief, and my mood instantly lifted, i tried taking a picture of how it looked:

i would have sat in that park for a longer time but i had to go to my course....

ever been annoyed but you really cant pin point exactly why it is your annoyed?

I'm having that feeling at this moment in time, I'm mega peeved off but when i think about it i don't really know why aaaah frustrating and its making me even more annoyed.

its kinda funny really, but right now I'm not laughing i just want to rip a pillow in half and stuff the feathers down some ones throat.

actually typing that has helped slightly, hmmmm there really is more to blogging....

breath in breath out......

ok so since the last post, i have been pondering about magic carpets and broomsticks, weighing up the options, thinking of the advantages of both and the disadvantages as well.

imagining what it would be like to fly by both, wow just think of the possibilities.

flying to other countries on a carpet or a broomstick, whatever takes your fancy, so cool, advantage of carpet is that if you got tired you can sleep or if you needed to pray then hey presto your already on a carpet go for it lol.

i genuinely am interested to know which you would prefer to travel by:

magic carpet?

or

a broomstick?

London makes me laugh so much, it really has the weirdest combination of people and they all seem to be based in the underground. i swear London city is one of those places where people watching could be turned into a sport.

i really doubt a person can be bored sitting at a window of a cafe watching the weirdness that is humanity walk by lol, i love it :)

i was in London this weekend and sure enough weirdness seemed to follow me. before even reaching London me and my friend ended up sitting next to a man who was desperate to know whether we spoke Urdu? he wasn't Asian, he was an English man who was learning to speak Urdu as he is intending on flying to Pakistan some time in the future to attend his friends wedding, cool, we replied that unfortunately we didn't speak Urdu although i new a few words and i could count to 4 but i doubt that means that i had grasped the language.

we said we spoke Arabic instead, later he asked what 'Arabian' food was like, i seriously get annoyed with that phrase 'Arabian' what is that? when i was at collage i had a couple of friends who asked me whether i was 'Arabian' and whether i listened to 'Arabian' music, once a guy asked me if i ever visited 'Arabian' lol, yeh all the time mate!!

anyway the guy was pretty funky, a practicing Buddhist who asked us 1001 questions about Islam, we tried answering to the best of our abilities.

when he found out i was Libyan, he told me that his mother had recently come back from visiting Libya and said she had the best time of her life ever!!! well I'm glad she did thank god.

i found out from this dude where you can get ostrich meat, in borough market in London, ostrich burgers, i so need to try them out, I'm being serious I'm craving ostrich meat, a huuuuuuge chicken...

so we get to London eventually, euston station and our friend meets us and off we go to the underground, 3 hijabis sitting next to each other, it must have been a sight cause the dude sat in front of us looked at us and then said 'so what are you, the 3 Grace's?' looooooool to which i laughed at, my friend nodded and then we continue dto chat about the state of Palestine.

couple of seconds later the guy then decided to lean forward and asks:

'do you ladies travel by flying carpet, have you ever travelled on a flying carpet?'

????????

we just stared at him and then my friend pointed at her rucksack and said:

'actually yes, come to think of it i have one in my ruck sack'

to which he rubbed his hand with glee, and announced to the rest of the train, 'these girls travel on flying carpet, they zoooooom around there room on a flying carpet'

laughs hysterically and walks of the train, 2 seconds later a man dressed up as Elvis walks in with a guitar and starts singing 'i said a one for the money, 2 for.....

looooool i love London...

i love it when the leaves change colour and fall to the ground, and that feeling of winter approaching, soooo nice.

the best time for hot drinks, seriously...

just wanted to share some of the photos i took the other day of my favourite thing....

TREES....

seriously for me taking a walk in the park is a de-stressor, and gives me the chance to contemplate on my life, day, hours etc...

a nice hot chocolate later or a chai latte perrrrrrrfect...

i hate rush hour, between the hour of 8-9am and 5:30-6:30pm, its a killer. its not that i even use public transport, i walk to work, what really annoys me, what really peeves me off, is having to cross the road.

picture it in your mind, i walk out my house at 8:10am, everything is cool until i get to the first busy road, every day its a chore trying to get across, i can easily stand there for 20 minutes trying to find an opportunity to cross the road, and as the seconds go by I'm getting more and more annoyed, so that by the time i finally get an opportunity to cross my face is handing out evil looks to every single driver that i pass.

i hate it when the drivers are driving past me knowing that I'm struggling to cross the road and not a single driver gives me the opportunity, they just continue to drive by me, its times like these that i think to myself if i ever become a driver then i will make sure that i will let people cross the road, i will give them the way because i white african have been there, done that and over worn the t-shirt.

it doesn't even take time for me to cross the road, I'm fast, blink of an eye lid, yet 99% of drivers will not give me the right of way, i always say to my friends 'god created human legs before the wheel'.

so in conclusion to this rant on Friday morning, please with a cherry on the top let me cross the road, i will pray for you if you do :))))))))))))))))))))))))))

sometimes i ponder about the relationships we have with people and how we really can take such matters for granted, take friendships for instance, we all have friends, some are more closer than others, we have different degrees of friendships, those people whom we class as being like 'family', then others who we occasionally meet up with, and then others whom we bump into at events but we get along just fine. the bonds of friendship can be as strong as a metal chain.

some one once told me that you know your close friends from the amount of missed calls, received calls and text messages you have on your phone from them lol, he told me that when he was getting married and when it came to inviting his friends, he took his phone and went through it and invited those people whom he was in constant contact with, any one he hadn't heard from in months or years he took of the list, interesting....

sometimes i think is it really worth making close friends with special people when the end result is that they will pack there bags and leave?

the answer is yes of course its worth it, if anything those memories of friendship will be cherished forever, and we are affected by our friendships, our inner growth and change in ourselves can be partly due to the friends we have.

the reason i started this blog entry to begin with is due to the fact that a dear dear friend of mine is leaving me waaaaaaaaaa.

shes packing her bags and moving to Dubai on Tuesday and although this was on the agenda for some time i guess i never truly thought it would happen or come so soon. its always sad when good friends are no longer a walk away, in Muna's case its going to have to be a fly away.

sometimes we may not speak or see our friends for some time but it gives us peace of mind that they are only a phone call away or a bus or drive away, its going to be hard not having Muna in the same city as me, the prophet PBUH once said that the good friend is the one who reminds you of Allah SWT each time you meet them, and truly Muna is that type of friend, she is my mirror.

i pray that her journey is a safe one and that wherever life takes her it hands out goodness and khair to her and may Allah always forever keep her happy.

remember always be appreciative of your friends...

guess what?

i had a halal subway..

cause for celebration people..

mmm a chicken subway, i have dreamt of such an experience, and the dream became a reality, subway is turning halal, it was so exciting to read the halal sign outside the subway just round the corner from the town hall.

my next one will be turkey breast...

so cool yipeeeeeee

its funny how the day can start so well, and things are going according to our plans, yet in the midst of things realisation can hit us and remind us of the life we live and that suddenly one day those whom we love may no longer be a phone call away.

on friday afternoon, i rushed home to clean the house, my mum was coming back from Dubai, and for a whole 10 days it was me and the boys, so the house standard was not up 2 scratch of course due to the boys...

whilst scrubbing away at the kitchen floor, the phone rang, i answered and was happy to hear my uncles voice all the way from Libya, although he thought i was thabet (people always mistake our voices!!!!).

he didnt actually sound to good, and he asked for my dad, to which i told him he wasnt available, so i was the one to recieve the news of the passing away of my grandmother.

inillah wa inna illyhee raj3oon (to allah we belong and to him we return).

it was as if some one had thrown a bucket of ice cold water over my head, i went numb, and i didnt know how to react, 00kitty was sat in the kitchen with me and thank god she was there as i was alone at home and it felt good to have a friend to break the news to.

i think the fact that i had to inform my father caused me more stress and prevented me from breaking down and crying. its not an easy thing to tell some one that there mother had returned to her creator.

i sit here typing away with tears in my eyes filling up ready to unleash onto my cheeks, tears of sadness, partly for my father and partly for missing out on years of not living with her or growing up with her in my life due to the political situation and for that i always curse a particullar so called 'leader'.

my memories of my grandmother i will cherish for a long time and each time i remember her i smile, never have i heard a harsh word from her, all she offered where smiles and the last few years of her life she became even more special as she was the last living grandparent.

i couldnt have asked for a better grandmother may allah have mercy on her soul.

i pray that Allah swt accepts her efforts of the life she lived, that he grants her jannah and that i am not denied seeing her in the after life.

Hajja Fatima you will forever be in our hearts and your memory will live on.

on Tuesday i had an informal appointment at the BBC, it was a Muslim/Media networking event an opportunity for journalists and Muslim guests to make links and exchange information.

i was invited as a trainee counsellor, they wanted Muslims from different sectors of the community, and it was a chance for us to question those behind the media on anything we wanted.

i did the mistake of eating before going, which i regretted as soon as i saw the buffet, food glorious food and all halal :)

i arrived at the reception desk and ticked my name off and signed in and was taken to the BBC canteen where the event was being held.

i had actually arrived early, i was contemplating on sticking to the stereo type of being late for everything, but i guess the point of this event was to shatter stereotypes.

every one had name badges, name badges always make me laugh for some reason, and its always funny to watch people bend slightly to read my name and then pronounce it, laugh and then ask if they had pronounced my name correctly, to which hardly any one ever gets right even after telling them how to pronounce my name.

but i am pro name badges, they make life that much easier, i think every one should wear name badges, it would prevent future awkward situations from happening, like when you see some one you haven't seen in donkeys years and you completely forget there name yet they remember yours, and worse when your with some one and your expected to introduce them, having name badges would prevent the embarrassment of forgetting peoples names.

if i ruled the country i would introduce this as a law :)

we where expected to mingle, walk around introduce ourselves to one another, i saw 2 sisters sat down so i zoomed in on them and forced my presence on them, they where really nice and where very embracing, what peeves me off are uppity sisters, those who will not make efforts with people they don't know so end up giving 'strangers' the cold shoulder.

I'm glad to say these sisters where quite the opposite, they where also in the social field, and we got talking about culture versus Islam and soon enough had others joining us, the first being the weather man!

pretty funky dude, really bubbly and the conversation began about the weather lol but that didn't last long, we soon got talking about food and that soon led to culture v religion which funnily enough led onto the conversation of alcohol!

he was saying that he knew quite a few Muslim lads who drank, and how many Muslim country's allow alcohol, he mentioned Mali and Qatar, so in his opinion it depends upon the country's definition of Islam.

i told him that in Islam there are differences of opinions, and its healthy to have this, some one had mentioned the 4 school of thoughts as an example, but what i told him was essential was that the fundamentals stay the same and there are no differences of opinions when it comes to this, he asked for examples, so i told him not associating partners with god, believing in prophet Muhammad as well as all the other prophets, accepting his sunnah etc.. prayers, fasting, paying in alms etc...

abstaining from alcohol, not commiting adultery or fornication etc.. all aspects that are not arguable in Islam, to which he pointed out those countries that are deemed Islamic yet allow for certain things such as alcohol.

so i told him of my opinion that really there is no such thing as an 'Islamic country' not even Saudi, Muslim countries, yeh i suppose, but not Islamic, as of yet not a single Muslim country bases its laws completely on shariah.

i thought the word shariah might open up another avenue of conversations and i am always weary of talking about shariah as my knowledge in this matter is not up 2 scratch, but surprisingly it didn't, instead the topic lead onto the quran and accepting it as word of god, and then that lead onto the fact that he knew 100% that his neighbour was committing adultery, so he turned around to me and asked : 'so according to the quran, would i be responsible for the stoning'

loooooooool, well what do you say to something like that?

i told him that he was taking matters very superficially, it wasn't a case of blood thirsty people wanting any excuse to stone, if anything Islam places barriers to prevent stoning such as having to have 4 witnesses which is near to impossible unless you publicly act out!!!

the encouragement in Islam to hide sins and not indulge in talking about your own sins or others, the matter of sitir (covering each others faults etc..).

the conversation then ended when some one else came and introducded themselves and we began talking about Muslims perceptions of the media.

it was a great night, and i enjoyed myself thoroughly, and it was great meeting journalist, producers and directors, and it was encouraging of the BBC to hold such events.

at the moment I'm swimming in post, if i was to tip all the post onto the floor it would reach above my knees.

here in Britain we have been experiencing a postal strike, basically no post because the post man is depressed.

that means that at my work place we haven't had letters delivered to us for the past 2 weeks!!! now considering how we deal with 4 major hospitals in Manchester as well as health centres, as well as private therapy, we really cant afford to have our post delayed even 2 days never mind 2 weeks.

hence the reason why i am swimming in letters.

post man pat is soooo over rated, i think the last time i saw our post man smile was hmmmm never!

ok so i know they have issues and probably the pay is horrendous etc etc etc but i think if it may have disastrous affects on peoples health then exceptions should be made, not impressed in the least.

so annoying....

praying in congregation with your fellow Muslim sisters or brothers is infinitely an amazing experience, and i didn't realise how much i have missed this feeling this Ramadan until the 27 th night, i hadn't prayed tarawih at a mosque at all this year, instead praying at home every night and although it has been very tranquil for me and spiritually uplifting in its own way, praying with friends and fellow brethren of the faith is a completely different experience.

i had planned to spend the majority of the night at the mosque and all day i was extremely excited, and entering the mosque that night my heart was beating so fast and it hit me that i had missed coming to the mosque for the amazing night prayers.

walalhi i felt so emotional, and seeing friends and fellow sisters who i am used to seeing on a weekly basis at the Tuesday circle really brought tears to my eyes, for some reason i saw every one in a different light and i felt touched by every one presence,

i know this must sound really soppy and maybe even exaggerated but i swear that's how i felt, and if i could choose to be any where at that particular moment i don't think i would have changed my place and would have chosen to be praying at the mosque with my groupies :)

i guess i felt emotional at the thought of Ramadan ending which sadly at the moment is packing its bags and it feels like already a vast emptiness is descending, i always feel a sense of sadness when the last day of the fast ends and maghreb approaches, knowing that there will be no tarawih prayers, i swear the atmosphere changes.

Ramadan is training for the soul, it is a rejuvenating and re-energising of our eman, a polite reminder as to how we have been living our lives and what needs to be changed, and a break away from the habit that is life, but defiantly Ramadan is supposed to be continued through out the year.

i pray from the bottom of my hear that the candle of iman that was lit during Ramadan continues until the next Ramadan, for who knows whether we will live to see another blessed Ramadan.

eid mubarak dearest bloggers, Allah swt is congratulating us through his gift of eid for the hard efforts we hopefully put into Ramadan, may eid be a joyous occasion that will fill your hearts with happiness and a zest to continue the Ramadan spirit.

3aseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeda oh how i love you...

the other day i cooked iftar, quite an occasion i tell you!

it was a case of having to wake up early and do some shopping, every thing was going well until i ventured into the butchers shop.

i saw one of my neighbours so got chatting to her, it was her turn to be served, all the time at the back of my head i kept thinking 'what am i going to order?' i swear i had no idea of the quantity or even the name of the meat, silly i know but i never buy meat this was a first for me.

so i decided to call my mums friend, this is how the conversation went:

me: sallam

lady: wallykum asallam, how are you?

me: I'm fine hamdullilah, hope you and the girls are well

lady: hamdullilah there good

me: ok khwalah, maneebeesh nakhid min wagtik (i dont want to take much of your time) I'm at the butchers and i want to buy la7am (meat) for sharbah leebeyah (libyan soup) lakin wallahi manee 3arafa rasee min reejlayah (i have no idea what im doing) whats the name of the meat?

lady: laughing (i so new she would) walahi habeebty la7am a7mar (red meat)

me: red meat??? will he understand me if i say to him red meat?

lady: inshallah

me: i thought it was called habrah

lady: that's Libyan he wont understand you.

me: oh ok, any way jazakh allah khairn

yep so i was even more confused, so i decided to take my chances and make a fool of myself, so when my turn came i approached the bearded brother, coughed, smiled and said i would like....

before i even completed the sentence, a lady starts shouting 'why you go and serve her before me, Ive been waiting all dis time' hands on hips, sucking her teeth.

to which i turned around to her and said 'i don't think so, i will have you know i was waiting in line, you on the other hand have appeared from now where'

so the result was a dirty look thrown my way and the butcher not wanting any trouble decides to serve her, so obviously shes putting in her order all the while i am staring at her side profile, after a minute of me staring she decides to turn around to me and says' ladyyyyy why don't you beat me up?'

looooooooool

me: beat you up? ladyyyyy your not worth it

my god the reaction was hilarious, she was completely offended by my words, started huffing an puffing, then looks me up and down and says:

'what do you mean not worth it? I'm worth beating up, why not? who do you think you are?

me: with a smile on my face, how dare you push in front of me and all these other people who where waiting? your attitude and manners are completely disgusting'

with that she took her bag of chicken legs and left the shop...

so again i approached the man and i told him, 'i would like umm ummm diced meat pleat'

man: diced meat?

me: yes....

man: ok, how much?

me: aaaaaaaaaaaaaah what do i ay what do i say, 'ummm a handful'

man: handful?

me: yep (trying to sound confident, aware that many eyes where watching me)

man: a kg of meat

me: yes that sounds great

yipeeeee i made it, i managed to buy meat

last year Ramadan on radio Ramadan i dedicated a programme to discuss woman and the mosque, and it proved to be a controversial topic, i blogged about it, a whole year has passed and the opportunity came up for me to join in a discussion about Islam and culture focusing on the topic of woman and mosques.

I'm doing the children's programme, i guess they didn't want me to get into topics deemed 'controversial', a friend of mine is doing programmes on another radio Ramadan in another area so she invited me over and i happily agreed to stir things up hee hee.

a question was asked whether we had encountered any experiences of culture clashing with religion, and of course i had to talk about being banned from a particular mosque for the soul reason of being a 'woman'. the topic then moved onto mosque committees and i said that i didn't see a problem in woman sitting on the mosque committee, and it took literally seconds for a caller to ring up the radio, it was a lady who had a bone to pick with my opinions.

basically she said that it is not right for woman to sit on a committee for mosques as it is wrong for woman to lead men (who said anything about leading???) plus no woman should have an opinion as her husbands opinion is more than enough and she should be happy with all that he says, and he is her spokes person and this should be applied for all woman!!!!

plus woman should stay at home, they have no need to leave the house, and if they need to pray they can pray in the comfort of there own homes, and a woman should not leave the house even for education!!!

some one shoot me

how bizarre, i always get dumbstruck when i hear such ignorant views, and when i asked the lady where her opinion where from she said it was what she has been told all her life and she added 'its not culture its religion'?????

well i don't know what religion she seems to follow but mine certainly has given me my rights for education, praying in a mosque, having a life for crying out loud!!!

what peeves me of is that Allah gave me my rights yet culture and certain MEN are intent on taking it away, how rude!!!

yesterday i had an interesting conversation about science and religion.

that science is based on facts and that so far every thing that science claims it has proven, yet religion is based on belief with no substance, no proof to the belief, that the existence of god has yet to be 'proven'.

the conversation then went on to the topic of faith schools and how faith schools should not teach children that god exists as a fact as it is yet to be proven.

i asked whether this should be implemented within households i.e parents, to which the reply was 'yes' parents should not raise there children with the belief that god exists, if the child comes to that conclusion on there own then so be it but no parent should 'teach' there child this 'concept'.

how interesting....

i told the person that i went to an Islamic school for 5 years where i was taught all 3 science's and that religion and science came hand in hand, and as a Muslim i cant choose between the 2 as Islam has proven over and over again that it is scientific and that theories of science where confirmed via the quran, according to the person religion repels science, according to Islam, the existence of god can be proven through science.

i did in fact offend the person by calling science a 'religion' according to her definition of religion in that religion established a platform for racists, discriminative ideas, stigmatising people etc... and the faster that religion is made rid of the better, so i said those who believe religion has no place in society and who follow the 'religion' of science are in fact doing exactly what she claims 'religion' is doing to others!!!

i find it interesting how 'religious' people are always deemed to be extreme in there ideas and how they are dismissive of other theories and beliefs and people are quick to judge and point the finger at religion, yet those who carry an alternative ideology are seen to be 'rational' and have a basis in there attacks on others and no matter how extreme there ideas are its deemed 'fine' as it is backed by 'proof'.

a confused world we live in, one that is full of double standards..

i will most definitely raise my future children with the belief that Allah exists and not only that but i will tell them and show them proof of the existence of god :0).

its been a week since Ramadan began, subhannallah time flies.

it feels alot longer, probably because the day is jam packed with things to do so one day can sometimes feel like 2 days.

i prefer being busy though, keeps your mind of the food :)

radio Ramadan has been fun, the kids are great and so enthusiastic, mashallah im getting 7 and 8 year old calling me and telling me there fasting.

I'm asking alot of riddles on the show and in the beginning i used to say simple and easy ones but the kids are clever and would answer within a minute of me asking so I'm picking more difficult riddles and mashallah there still managing to answer them, i have layed down 2 rules, they cant ask an adult and they are not allowed to google the riddle to get the answer lol.

on Tuesday i had a kid call in, conversation went something along the line of :

me: ooooooh yipeee we have a caller, lets find out who it is, sallamu allykum caller your through to radio Ramadan Manchester

caller: sallam allykum

me: wallykum assalam, how are you

caller: fine

me: great stuff, whats your name and how old are you?

caller: I'm aisha (I've given her a fake name) and im 10 years old

me: mashallah and that's a beautiful name, so aisha you fasting today?

caller: yessssss and i have a headache

me: aaaaaw well your not the only one i get them as well, lets suffer together ok

caller: ok (laughs) i want to share a joke

me: brilliant, I've been waiting for some one to call and make me laugh

caller: ok, well i thought this joke was funny, but its a bit dodgy

me: ...... (aaaaaaaaaaaah please don't say any thing baaaaaaad) ok you sure its ok to say it aisha

caller: ha ha ha yeh yeh its good

me: ok i trust you in that case go ahead

caller: ok, why did the tissue roll down the hill?

me: (sounds ok, ya rab please keep it clean) no idea aisha, so why did the tissue roll down the hill?

caller: to get to the bottom, get it

me: looooooooooooooool

i swear i couldn't stop laughing, and i tried to control myself but it was useless i had to go to a break so as to get it out of my system.

i still laugh every time i say it.

ever been in a situation where your not actually aware of how fast the time is going past, and you know that your meant to call some one but you never end up doing it although you had the intentions to do so but each time you remember you find your self in the middle of something and not able to pick up the phone and make that call?

and just before you make the call the person who you want to call ends up calling you, how bad does that look? and 9 out of 10 times there not very happy which i don't blame them really but whatever happened to making excuses for your brother and sister? the whole 70 excuses!!!

i could have been drowning in milk or being stampeded upon by a thousand dates (sticking to the Ramadan theme).

yeh i tend to find myself in this situation but not often thank god, but its not on purpose and i find that when i tell them that its not on purpose it still doesn't go down very well, oh well...

i have to try to get back in a particular persons good books, other wise i will probably live to regret it, hmmmm i wonder if i should bombard the person with telephone calls day and night, every hour.

I'm really excited about Ramadan, i love it love it love it.

its the best month and its always so exciting to wait for the first day of Ramadan to arrive, each year i am always shocked at how fast Ramadan makes an appearance, its scary this time moving business.

every year i have some sort of plan of action that i always vow to stick to and complete, but planning and putting things into action are two entirely different things.

i always have a list in my mind and i find that by the last 10 days i still hadn't completed half of what was on the list :( inshallah my intentions are to better myself this Ramadan and to rejuvenate my soul.

I'm sat here typing away a few minutes before maghreb is due to come in with it the start of Ramadan, tarawih starts tonight and the feeling is simply exciting.

every thing changes, the atmosphere, our relationship with others, our outlook on life, and inshallah our relationship with Allah is tightened and made stronger.

even the kitchen feels different, it has a Ramadan feel about it, its as though the utensils are crying out to be used so as to share in the blessings of Ramadan.

i ask Allah swt to bless you all in this month, that you get the most from this blessed month and that our time is not wasted and instead used to its ultimate benefit.

may you all have a wonderful Ramadan full of all that Ramadan has to offer.

don't over stuff yourself, oh yes don't go food shopping when your fasting, you will end up buying things you don't necessarily need :)

Saturday was spent climbing mount snowdon in wales, wooohoooo. i was really looking forward to it, for me it was a last minute thing, my friend had asked me to sponsor her as she was climbing mount snowdon to raise money for Africa via Islamic relief a charity company.

a group of girls where getting together to do this walk, and i showed an interest thinking that it was probably to late to join, so i was pleasantly surprised when she said that i could, i grabbed the chance, registered and began a 2 week collection of sponsors.

even the nhs patients at the surgery sponsored me aaaaw bless, elderly people pledging money, so nice of them walahi. we where the last group from Manchester around 24 of us, Bradford, Birmingham and London had already done it and already over 30,000 pounds was raised mashallah.

we had to be at the meeting point at the uni mosque at 4am, i had slept after midnight so i was lacking in sleep but i was full of energy because of all the excitement, dressed up in hiking boots, waterproof trousers, jumpers, jackets, rucksack the whole shebang.

we left just after fajer and arrived on time, 2 1/2 hours away, got of the coach and found a pretty lake, wales is simply beautiful subhannalah.

some of the girls had brought walking sticks with them that actually came in handy, i preferred jamming them into people, more fun :)
even the houses are so pretty
we where split into 2 groups and each group took a different path that eventually leads to the summit, there where natural steps leading up the mountain, but some of those steps where soooo high, you could feel the muscles at the back of the leg stretching, I'm sure at one point i heard mine scream.
it was really foggy, at points you couldn't see anything ahead or below, then it would clear up for a while, the higher up we went the more cloudy it got
the views where fantastic, and every so often you could hear a 'subhanallah' coming from different people, you cant help but wonder about the magnificence of nature, of what Allah has gifted us, and its times like these that i feel extreme gratitude for my eye sight as to witness such wonderful examples of creation is truly a gift in itself
the girls where doing so well, every so often we would stop to catch our breath, all the time complaining of how un-fit we where, some of us where good in that we trained before starting the climb, i on the other hand didn't train all that much but what did help me was the fact that i walk every where and that came in handy.
we came across a running stream
and after checking it out with our guide (who was fantastic) i jumped in and drank fresh spring water mmmm delicious
after the girls made sur the water was fine through me testing it and not dieing, every one had a drink, and we made wudu so as to pray duhir later, pretty cool.

we continued our walk, every so often taking snaps of beautiful scenery

we eventually stopped for lunch, we didn't realise how hungry we where until we took the food out to eat, after a brief rest we continued the rest of the climb, the last 10 minutes of the climb was a real test, it was a case of convincing your mind that you weren't tired and that your muscles are absolutely in tip top shape, when in fact all you want to do is lie down and catch your breath, but the human is an amazing creation, once we stick our mind to something then no matter what we can do it, and energy you though you never had somehow makes an appearance and drives you to move on, and the faith that you carry provided enough drive to take you where you want.

besides all that i couldn't face the fact that 70 year olds where walking past me looking like where going for a stroll :0)

we eventually got to the top, the summit and it felt great and was well worth the walk

it was time to go down, a different route to the one we came up, but it was sooo foggy, you could hardly see what was in front of you
and whilst we where walking, we heard a scream and then some of the girls shouting, when we got closer we saw one of the sisters had fallen quite badly and banged her head, and there seemed to be blood all over her, we where all shocked and completely in fear of what the outcome would be, the guides came running with the first aid kit, and it was a case of checking to see if she was aware of her surroundings, of who she was etc.. alhamdullilah she seemed to be aware but was in extreme pain and couldn't really move, eventually she had to go down by train, and we continued our journey down by foot. later we where told she was taken to the local hospital where they cleaned her wounds, and she had stitches, but alhamdullilah it was not anything more serious.

the guides told us that many people die from climbing this mountain, through falling, tripping etc.. so the sister was extremely lucky and fortunate, may Allah reward her for her wonderful efforts inshallah.

when we got half way down the mountain there was a service stop of some sort, toilets and a cafe, there was the most friendliest sheep i had ever seen this sheep seemed to love human contact, most sheep run away if you come a mile near them never mind an inch, this particular sheep was extremely fond of chocolate, no lie!! we fed him a whole mars bar

but for some reason it wasn't interested in me, i was convinced that it was a donkey dressed up as a sheep.

i spotted a lovely tree which reminded me of the bonsai trees

we eventually got to the bottom, by then i was so grateful to be on flat land, and it felt so cool to look up to the mountain and know that we had climbed it.

Africa may this small contribution make some difference