member of the human race

my feet are cold, why are they cold? because they are wet, why are they wet? because it was raining and I had to walk in the rain, I love the cold but I don't like being wet, the bottom of my skirt got drenched and even though I have been sat here since 12 it's still wet, I guess that's the down side of wearing really long clothes, the stuff us hijabis have to go through...

us hijabis are really funny, I seriously entertain my self with the fact that I'm a hijabi seriously, I was discussing with my brother the other day about his stand up comedy and he was looking for new material, I guess mimicking David beckam and Blair is sooooooooooooooo last year, so he has a gig in July with Mecca medina in London and wants fresh stuff, so he comes to me and he's like ' hey white African I sometimes use u in my performances, have you done anything stupid lately? Well really.. after slapping him, I told him that me and stupid just don't go together (enough of the snickering) but then I started talking about hijabis..

have you ever climbed the stairs with one of your long skirts or jilbabs, and both your hands where not free so you couldn't hold your skirt up, and if you where to walk like a normal human up the stairs you would fall flat on your face cause you would just trip over your skirt, I have done this so many times its not funny anymore, I remember going up the uni stairs with my bag in one hand, food in the other, books balanced on my head etc... and trying to climb the stairs and failing miserably, falling and screaming out in pain and frustration aaaaaaaaaaaaaah,

well us hijabis after so many times of sheer embarrassment have come up with the perfect walk, really every one just notice it next time you see a hijabi climbing the stairs (she has to have skirt or jilbab, trousers do not work with this technique), the walk is simply called 'the waddle' yes, its a case of waddling, its ingenious, you no longer need to fall flat on your face, just make sure no one is behind you whils your waddling cause brothers would see a backside sticking in the air, but its up to you either fall and pretend you didn't hurt yourself or waddle and get wise cracks like 'quack quack' or ' mashallah how many months are you?'

so my hijabis lets do the waddle.... waddle waddle waddle waddle all the way home.