Tuesday, June 20, 2006



this one is for you my dearest grandmother...

my gran left for Libya this morning, bless her she was so excited, there was that twinkle in her eye and that constant smile cause she knew that in a few hours time she will be sat amongst her other children and grandchildren in the comfort of her own chair in the country that she so adores.

I woke up for fajir and gave my goodbyes to her, it was quick cause I didn't want her to see me crying, and even now will I type this the tears are obstructing my sight because deep down I don't know whether I will see her again in this life time.

its funny that even though I never grew up around my extended family including my grandparents, I still feel close to them and connected in a way that I cant explain, you learn to love them as you grow up through pictures and stories that your parents tell you about them, and then when you see them on the odd visit its like you've sat with them all your life.

my gran is the last living grandparent and she is what you would imagine a grandmother to be, the constant stories of the past, the love she emits, the care for you in the words she would say, that certain smell of incense and rose or jasmine perfume that surrounds her, the smile she would greet you with, the daily rituals of tea and coffee, all this my dearest gran I will miss.

she only stayed with us this time for 2 months yet the house feels so empty without her, its times like this that I curse the one they call gaddafi for preventing the years that me and my brothers missed out on of growing up with our grandparents.

I pray that my eyes will once again see her in this life and that Allah blesses her and strengthens her ameen...

8 comments:

lostkitty said...

awwww babe. I know exactly what u mean. The scent, the mental image of someone is often burned into our subconcious... and we remember them that way. Sometimes at unexpected moments/
Reading this blog of urs made tears come to my eyes too.
Insha'allah u will see ur grandmother soon.

Lady Wildkat said...

A.a babe
cor blimey, you are your gran +50 years, i can now see how u fit in MY fam, cos u was always the odd one out. u know me and hamza are siblings and well thabet with a bit of sun is my LB.
yeah well when gaddaffi drops off the face of the earth i'll come with you to visit my Ithnnaina (yes she is, mama and baba said so! :op)in Libya. i told u i was from Bengazi/Bengali.......... gettit? ...ur so sad, it IS funny!..........was glad to see Ithnaina before she left, i pray that WE ALL get to see her again, InshaAllah. - as Mr Sunshine says, its haraaaaaaaaam not to share, Allah doesnt like it!.

i'll remember her smile and her twinkling eyes, i dont think u will ever forget her, all u have to do is look into the mirror as u age.

i'll come round and liven up things, or drop Mr sunshine off as he screams in terror and hides from Baba, lol

chat laterz........
LW

white african said...

yeh i guess most events in our lifes become memories, its sad really, i walk into the house and still expect to hear her replying to my sallam, ah time flies and this life is full of pain, i pray that the next life is full of happiness for all inshallah.

NATIVE FEMALE said...

ameen sis ameen
I understand what u going through. I live away from my grandma who I'm close to and I just miss her so much. Time flies and everytime we part I fear that this might be the last time we will be together in this world. But i seek comfort in Allah and pray that He grants us what is kheyr....ameen

lostkitty said...

U know u really look like ur gran :-)

white african said...

i know tahnia sis, its something that ive been told all my life, i guess when i look at th epic i can see similarities, i guess i had to look like some one in the family, glad that some one is female lol

Anonymous said...

MashaAllah your grandmother is beautiful, truly she has a wisdom and gentleness that is apparent in her face, Allah SWT bless her and give her many more years with you all.

At least you know youve got good genes and will age well, you seriousli look like her!

Although its sad that you wont see her for some time. Alhamdulillah at least youve have her still (mi last grandparent passed away in early 90's:( Alhamdulillah for the times that youve had with her and inshaAllah if not in this lifetime then inthe next we will all meet in Janatul Firdaus Ameen.

white african said...

jazak allahkhairn anonymouse, ameen to your lovley dua