it is near to impossible to please every one in your life, no matter how hard you try, some one is bound to feel that you have not tried hard enough and 9 out of 10 times they will let you know of their 'unhappiness' with you.

is there such a thing as unconditional support? obviously no but i would settle for 50%.

how about being sensitive to other peoples life pressures?

how about not complicating matters?

I'm being stretched from all directions and i can hear the sound of something about to rip.

can you stitch your own limbs back?

you really never think of yourself as emotional until life triggers your emotions to spill out and then your left with the feeling of revealing too much.

and all it can take is the soft spoken words that is 'are you ok?'

and you find the tears rolling down the cheeks, and god forbid if your wearing mascarra... (reminds me of magda rumi's song, al matar al aswad feeee 3ayneeeeeee).

and once you begin crying then the weeks, months of holding in the tears are to be released after the initial first tear drop.

tears are a gift because a 'good cry' really does make you feel better.

tears are words that the heart cant express - well in my case it is.

some one once said that they loved walking in the rain because then no one knows that shes crying.

one things for certain is that our eyes do need to be washed by our tears (not all the time) so that life can be seen alot clearer

ive never been one for crying infront of others including loved ones, i feel vunrable to be seen crying, like im some how exposing a weakness in me, so that if i ever do loose the control of holding in my tears, it usually because i have lost control of my emotions.

but the light at the end of the tunnel continues to shine.

and dua is seriously a powerful tool.

The other day I was lining up at one of the many subways in dear old Manchester.

The man serving me was Asian, and before asking me what type of bread I wanted he asked instead 'are you Iranian?'

'Excuse me' I replied, I didn’t catch what he had said.

'Are you Iranian?' speaking slightly louder.

Iranian oh, no I’m not' all the time thinking I want the Italian bread, Italian bread Italian bread.

'So what are you' he said

I nearly said Italian lol

'I’m Libyan' all the while contemplating on whether I should be having this conversation with this dude.

'Libyan, oooooooooh, your capital is Beirut'

'Beirut?' ?????? He really confused me, and then it hit me, he thought I meant Lebanon.

'No dude, the capital of Libya is Tripoli, Libya is in the north of Africa'

'What?'

Seriously I was beginning to walk away...

My brother then says to him, 'bro you know gaddafi'

To which I turned around to my brother and told him of, it irates me when people associate Libya with that man.

To which the man says 'gaddafi?'

To which my brother replies' you know gadafi stadium in Lahore'

The man then says ' I hate Pakistan'

????????????????

I couldn’t help laughing out loud.

Then asking what fillings we wanted, tuna, he continued to talk and came out with an extremely weird conspiracy theory that I had never heard of.

'You know gaddafi killed Bhutto?

???????????????

'He killed Bhutto? And where did you hear that from?'

noooooooo not this Bhutto, the one in 1978'

???????????

yep that makes sense.

Well what could I say apart from 'oh I see'

He then switches topics and asks about a book I was holding. 'What you reading?'

I was holding ibn kathirs book titled 'stories of the prophets', so I told him what it was to which he replies 'yes yes, I like the story of ali'

????????

ali? I was going to say that ail (ra) was not a prophet, but from where I was standing it looked easier to argue the Bhutto case.

I love Manchester.

it has been a while since my last post, i dont even know where the time flies to be honest.

my lack of blogging has also been due to technical difficulties i.e no internet at home (every one say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw in sympathy).

being deprived of the internet makes you feel like your missing out on something big.

anyway dearest bloggers nothing much to report, but i will share with you the experince of eating hot chestnuts, sweet potato straight from the oven with red tea with roasted peanuts mmmmmm. basiclly what i have been having this winter.

i swear people you cant beat the taste of origional libyan tea, yeh maaaaaaaaaan.

mmmm roasted nuts with libyan tea, simply beautiful... and of course put them all together and you get an amazing winter treat

also ive been teaching my brother the art of hugging a tree: