sometimes we say or do something that we later want to take back regardless of how small or big it is.

in my case this seems to be a repetitive feature in my life, alhamdullilah most of the time its just stupidity on my part and generally the only person who gets embarrassed and wants to bury there face in the ground is me, every one else just laughs at me and not with me :)

I have come to accept this of me but it still does not give me immunity to being horrified at my clumsiness.

yesterday lady k called me on a private number, so I was chatting to her and what not then after like 5 minutes we ended the conversation, 2 seconds later my phone rings again and it was a private number so I'm thinking lady k forgot to tell me something so instead of answering the phone in the usual 'hello' or sallamuallykum' I answered in a really loud and high pitched voice ' BANANA WOMAN' and to my amazment it was a man who was calling and not lady k, he wanted to introduce me to his wife who was a freshy and didnt know any one her age.

let me explain myself, I have this habit where I call people banana's, where it came from? God knows, but its something that has been a part of my life for some time now. I don't swear so instead I call people by fruit and vegetable names like pumpkin for example, also I use it in an affectionate manner as well like with this incidence, calling my close friends banana, apple, grape face etc...

so I was being my usual self when I answered the phone, but its not a side of me that I tend to show to every one especially people I don't know, especially men!!!

the man paused for a few seconds and then all I heard was ummm asslamu allylum, al ukht white African? (translation Salaam, sister white African?) and then I jumped up and down in horror continuously.

I eventually spoke to his wife and if I get to know her better I'm going to ask her what her husband thought when I answered the phone lol.

Nun accused of religious harassment
Friday, 15th December 2006

A nun was convicted of religious harassment after ranting against 'terrorist' Muslims in the middle of London's busy Oxford Street.

Sister Ruth Augustus, 66, was fined £200 after she shouted at two women in full robes and veils "you're probably terrorists, get back to your own country".Later she told cops who arrested her they should go back to Iraq and have their heads chopped off.City of Westminster Magistrates Court heard how trouble flared when Augustus, a missionary who has worked with prostitutes in the developing world, was handing out prayer leaflets outside Debenhams department store on Easter Tuesday.When people of Muslim appearance passed she called out "Jesus loves Muslims," but two ladies in traditional dress took offence.Fellow leafleter, Tony Rollins, told the court: "The ladies answered back and told her shut her stupid mouth."Sister Ruth said to them 'you're probably terrorists, get back to your own country'. They gave her a long, hard stare before walking away."I was cringing at what she said. It made me feel very uneasy."

WPC Natasha Walker said she heard a 'commotion' outside the shop and went to investigate.The officer said: "I heard someone shouting 'terrorists, terrorists' more than once. It's busy on Oxford Street, so she must have been shouting really loud."I turned round and noticed there were a group of people standing outside Debenhams. Sister Augustus was shouting 'terrorists' repeatedly and other things about Muslims."I asked her to stop, but she refused. She said 'I will not stop, I'm a nun'."Because she refused to stop I arrested her. She said 'You're not arresting me, I'm a nun. It's a waste of tax payers' money. You're arresting me because you're a Muslim.'"WPC Walker called for for colleagues to help bundle the 'agitated and aggressive' into the back of the police van.WPC Keeley Pemberton said when she arrived she heard Augustus shouting at PC Walker "Take your dirty hands off me, you're a Muslim."After a night in police cells Augustus was bailed to return to Marylebone Police Station in June, but when her solicitor didn't show, she launched into another tirade, it was said.She called the two officers morons, referred to one as 'WPC Muslim Walker', and shouted in the public waiting area "This is a Muslim country full of terrorists," the court heard.WPC Pemberton said Augustus became increasingly 'agitated and abusive'.She said: "I asked her to be quiet and she shouted 'Go back to Iraq' and was pointing at WPC Walker. She said it very aggressively."Then she looked at me and said 'You should go with her and both of you will get your heads chopped off'."WPC Walker said: "She said to me 'you should go back to Iraq where you belong, where all the terrorists are. You are likely to be beheaded. You deserve it'."When she was arrested again she ranted at officers "You're all morons, especially that Muslim - she's a chimpanzee and she needs to go back to the zoo with the other chimpanzees," WPC Pemberton said.

Augustus, who represented herself after sacking her lawyer early in the proceedings, was frequently told to be quiet as she heckled the witnesses.While giving evidence, she insisted on wearing a large placard with a picture of Jesus on it round her neck.She claimed she had in fact suggested to the officers that they should stop wasting time on her and instead go out and catch paedophiles and rapists, or go out to Iraq to help our troops fight terrorists.Augustus accused police of "religious bigotry and hatred" and claimed she was handled roughly, locked in a cell when she was ill, and strip-searched in the street.She said: "I was responding to extreme provocation. The police were abusing me and were acting in a most satanic, brutal and unprofessional manner. I felt entitled to call them chimpanzees because that is how they were behaving."The reference to beheading she said was in reference to the catholic missionary Margaret Hassan, who was kidnapped and murdered by insurgents.Augustus, of Kensington, was found guilty of two charges of religiously aggravated harassment.District Judge Emma Arbuthnot told her: "I have no doubt at all that Sister Augustus's behaviour amounted to religiously aggravated harassment."This was extremely upsetting and rude behaviour which harassed and alarmed not just the officers but others who were around at the time."It is clear from her behaviour today that she was an extremely difficult defendant to deal with. The officers I'm sure dealt with her as best they could and cannot be criticised."She was fined a total of £200 plus £40 court costs. The judge told the pensioner: "By rights you should pay compensation but I'm not going to make you as you are not in a position to pay any more."

Augustus replied: "It's a disgrace. If this is British justice, I'm going back to Africa. They are more civilised there." She vowed to appeal against her conviction in the highest court

loooooooooool that last sentance was a killer for me 'if this is british justice then im going back to Africa' ignoring the fact that Africa is full of Muslims, nuns always come across as being sweet and calm, evidently not this one, although i'm not going to fall into the same trap she did and tarnish every one with the same brush..

the Muslim ladies shouldnt have told her to shut up though, that was wrong, i would have told her 'i know, Jesus loves all muslims, just as we love him'...

Some people have no people skills, the whole communication process and etiqutes of interaction are non-existent in certain people, they seriously need a course in human interaction.

for instance take yesterday for example, after the Islamic course this past weekend (which was brilliant mashallah) some of us decided we would got out for dinner, it had been ages since we had chilled out and enjoyed each others company so around 11 of us headed towards the curry mile (wilmsolow road) went to a particular restaurant, managed to find seating for 11 of us.

now we hadn't been out for a meal with each other for yonks so obviously we where in high spirits, laughing and generally talking and enjoying each others company as any one would in the company of good friends, we where not particularly loud, the volume hadn't increased to maximum as yet.

the waiter came along and announced his presence and asked if any one wanted any starters?
to which I replied yes an onion bhaji please, lady k was sat next to me and burst out laughing thinking I was joking, then realized that I was serious I really wanted an onion bhaji, I hadn't had one is ages so now was the perfect time to order them, the twin laughed and said bhaji onion onion bahaji, and I replied by saying uncle onion (bhaji can also mean aunt) so we where kinda laughing about that when the waiter comes out with 'can you calm down, you have a family sat behind you'

we all just looked at each other, I swear it wasn't like we where hysterical, or even shouting and laughing in loud voices, we where being normal, one of the girls said to him that we where just having a bit of fun to which he replied ' well your not in a playground, your in a restaurant', how rude!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am 100% certain that if we where different customers we would never have been spoken to like that, what really gets to me is the sheer cheek and how arrogant he was.

we just sat there completely shocked looking at each other, he totally spoilt our mood, lady k turns around to me and says 'lets get out of here, we should go some place else'

and I agreed, eventually after a brief consultation with every one else we decided to leave and go to the restaurant across the road, before we left the waiter came and asked what the problem was, we told him we had a problem with his attitude and his approach. He then looks at me and says ' sister sister...', now that really peeved me of when he did that and when I'm peeved of I react so I looked at him and said' don't sister me, Brother...

its all sister this and sister that, where all Muslims etc.. Why cant he admit that he did wrong, why does he have to use our connection to try to shut me up, a simple apology would have been fine, we are humans and we make mistakes and admitting to your mistakes is one way of apologizing.

he ended up loosing customers, it was more of a lesson to him to make him realize that he cant talk to people the way he did, regardless of whether I am his sister or not...

Hamada_Helal-Mohamed_Nabena

i just love this song, i know the video clip is corny but i love th etune and the words, reminds me of when my mum went to hajj and brought back an islamic nashid of a different verison of this nashid.

look im in the whole wanting to be somewhere i cant be at this moment so im having my moments

I got a text this morning that to be honest I wish I never got and never expected to get and I'm so disappointed.

the text was: 'we regret to inform you that we have been unsuccessful in obtaining visas for any price. We will arrange refunds soon'

I had such high hopes wallahi of performing hajj this year, I know that everything that happens in our life is for our benefit but I cant help feeling such sadness, I'm at work and seriously I cant be bothered working, twice I have answered the phone nearly in tears...

I still have some hope in me but its slowly fading and I really don't want to wait a year, I really was hoping to go and better myself and change my life completely.

subhanallah I keep saying to myself the same ayah over and over again 'do not hate something it may be that it is better for you'

but I'm so upset wallahi and I so know that I'm gonna be on a low for sometime, the visa people so need sorting out, its been mad this year loads of people from Britain are not able to go because of new laws of some sort.

I'm seriously considering crossing the border into Saudi without a visa, pay the man on the border some money to shut him up and hey presto hajj here I come...

ok joking aside, please pray for me people that whatever the outcome I am able to accept it and that if hajj is postponed a year for me then the year will pass in the blink of an eye lid..

I seriously need to take some time out from work though...

guess what????????????????

come on keep guessing...........................

one more chance................................

give up?

well I was in London this weekend and when I came back Sunday night I noticed that my mums car was parked outside the house, yep that's correct and not only that completely intact, not a scratch.

well you could imagine how dumbstruck I was, I seriously thought that I had walked into a time warp and found myself back in time with Dr who music palying in the back ground, freaky...

so I walk into the house shouting 'MAMA' and after the initial hugs and kisses I was informed that on Saturday afternoon the police called to speak to my mum with the news that her car had been found in some park somewhere abandoned, my mum asked him about the state of the car to which he replied 'no idea, here is the address you will have to go and find our for yourself'

so of my parents went to this park and low and behold the car is there, and nothing was taken, the cd player was still their, as was the Swedish clogs (which I was really happy about, those clogs are cool) in the boot along with the box of chocolates which was not touched, amazing...

the tyres where not their though, how weird??? So my dad had to get tyres to replace the one taken.

really weird huh? Not sure what to make of this, I think it was some kids who wanted to go joyriding (funnily enough my mum had filled the tank the day before) and something must have happened to the tyre so they abandoned the car, will I ever find out? Only god knows..

I just wanted to say a big thank you to you all for your kind comments, it was lovely and you guys are absolutely great and I dedicate this bouquet of flowers to you all.

Just as I have started to put my faith back in humanity, humanity slaps me across the face, ok maybe not quite, but still it gave me a good beating today....

this morning at work my mum calls me and she says ' when you left for work this morning did you by any chance see the car?'

to which I replied 'ummmm I honestly cant remember, I was to busy trying to keep my eyes open'

to which she informed me ' well the car has been stolen'

???????????????????????????????- well what could I say, congratulations, another example of how twisted people can be.

frustrating or what? what would make a person do that? Take something that is not theirs? I don't get it and I don't understand, seriously it really bothers me to think that people out their will violate peoples trust and help themselves when clearly they are not welcome.....

subhanallah I gotta remind myself that everything happens for a reason and that everything that happens is for our benefit, it could be that we where prevented from a major crash where we could have lost our lives, so alhamdullilah, praise be to Allah.

what really annoys me is not the material aspect of this but the concept of taking what is not yours, even if its a penny so long as its not yours then its forbidden.

our car is probably burnt to charcoal in some deserted place or at the bottom of a lake somewhere, sob sob....

I cant stand thieves, they are the lowest of the low and deserve what's coming to them...

human beings are amazing, just when you loose hope in people, a random act of kindness blows you away. Just the other day I had finished work (it was the day that I had no sleep) and began my journey home and because the clouds felt sorry for me for being so darn tired they decided to cry all over me or in other words it began to rain....

Manchester is the rainy city in Britain, I have come to accept this so it didn't really bother me when it started to rain, I had no umbrella so I wrapped my head scarf around me even more and blocked out the noise of traffic cause I had become deaf due to my headscarf plus my ipod.

so I'm walking walking walking when a man approached me with one of the biggest umbrella's I have ever seen, I can see that he's talking but I cant hear him, so I pulled out my head phones and un wrapped a couple layers of my scarf to be able to hear him, this is how the conversation went:

man: excuse me, sorry ummmm ummmm

me: yes (I was not amused and my patience was extinct I had buried it along with my charm)

man: ummmm sister sorry, I too am a Muslim (at which point he smiled and looked really pleased with himself lol)

to be honest when he approached me and said that I instantly thought he was going to ask for money, so I was really cynical and non responsive, I have had a couple of encounters with men who say they are Muslim and then tell me a sob story as to how they where mugged and need to get to London but he doesn't have any cash on him or cards so could he borrow £50 to get him to London to be with his wife and disabled son, these men are always well dressed and so polite and good actors but I am never convinced, one guy told me that he came home one day to find that his wife was committing adultery and had kicked him out of his house with only the clothes on his back and he had to sleep on a park bench (no proof, he looked immaculately clean and ironed) and he needs £30 to get him to Birmingham to be with his mother every body say aaaaaaaaaaaa He had a extremely strong Asian accent, and when I told him that I had difficulty believing his story he turns around and says 'well who needs your money any way' in a really strong mancunian accent, the cheek...

so understandably I thought this guy was gonna be the same, any way to continue the conversation:

man: yes I aMuslim, please sister have my umbrella, please

me: (dumbstruck).....Sorry

man: please I would like you to have my umbrella I don't want you to get wet

me: oooooooooooh, thank you so much that's so nice of you I'm fine thank you so much for that that really kind (I couldn't shut up I just kept talking)

man: please sister I would rather you have it

me: gosh thank you, but I'm ok I have one already wrapped around my head, my hijab lol blah blah blahI(i was over come by his kindness loool) thank you anyway...

man: ok sister as you wish

how nice is that, to be honest that was the last thing I was expecting and it really touched me that such acts of kindness can exist.

I do believe in chivalry and you certainly don't see that around any more, very rarely will some one offer their seats or any of that business, so when it does happen it brings about feelings of complete and utter shock.

thanks bro for your offer of the umbrella

People I am suffering from sleep deprivation, I was in London this weekend for a friends wedding which was lovely mashallah, but I didn't sleep very well during the weekend and I got into Manchester at 3am this morning and had to wake bright and early for work so I am exhausted and tired and did I mention sleep deprived.

apparently not sleeping enough can interfere with memory, energy levels, mental abilities and emotional mood I agree wholeheartedly.

memory: at the moment it's like a fish (why do they say that, I'm sure its a myth, goldfish are not that bad, maybe dori from nemo is more appropriate), two second memory seriously, today a patient got offended cause I forgot there name!!! Please I barley remember my own name.

energy levels: yep at the moment they are at a low level, so far I have had one cup of coffee and one cup of tea, cold might I add, and the caffeine has done nothing for me.

mental abilities: hmmmmm, I have to admit my brain is not functioning correctly at the moment, I think I'm using 2% percent of it, just barley living more or less, ooooops there goes my oxygen mask....

emotional mood: some would argue that because I am of the female variety then emotionally we are unstable (not true), at the moment though a timer is ticking and I may just explode or fall asleep right here on the desk and I couldn't care less if I was caught- bring it on...

also other signs are:

• irritability - oh yes without a shadow of a doubt.
• blurred vision - I need glasses anyway so no surprises there!!
• slurred speech- jhdfjkhfncjkhdfjkhsdf - translation - just a tiny bit
• hallucinations- I would like to say that I am seeing headless people everywhere but its not that severe, only thing I can think of is I am answering the telephone when its not even ringing!!
• increased blood pressure - ok I'm gonna go and take it....
• faster aging- oh my god I have white hair!!!!
• slowed reaction time- ................................................ oh yeh
• yawning- its my second name
• daytime naps- I wish..

so do you fall into any of the above categories, if so call blah blah blah number and they will send a special delivery of a punch to knock you out to cuckoo land of sleep.....